Zoul eater
by Death overlord Z
Summary: The soul eater universe is turned upside down when a green-haired stranger enters their midst. rated T because I'm paranoid. KidxLiz in later chaps, along with some one-sided Liz x oc, and a pinch of Black*star x Patty.
1. newcomer

"where's stein?"

that's how it all began. A simple question.

"I don't know. He should be here by now." Said Soul.

"I don't like it. It feels weird." Said Maka. She felt uneasy today. In fact, everyone felt uneasy, for some reason. They had that feeling, the same feeling when you are being stalked by a killer through a dark alley.

Squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky…

BANG!

"Yow!"

The first sounds were the noise of a rolling chair speeding across the floor (which really needed to be oiled.)

the second was those wheels hitting the doorstop.

And the third was stein crashing to the floor.

As usual.

"good morning class!" said Stein. "I have some very exciting news!"

"today, we have a new student!"

a large "?" bubble appeared over the crowd of students. Nobody had heard anything about a new student.

"Mr Stein?" said Maka, raising her hand.

"yes, Maka-chan." Stein said, turning the screw in his head with a rather nauseating _crick._

"what type of weapon does the student have? Does he have a scythe? A gun?"

"is one of them a girl? Is she a hot girl?" said soul? "I hope so…"

"Soul, don't make me maka-chop you!" Maka threatened with a dictionary from thin air.

Soul flinched. He didn't doubt her.

Ever since the duo had been going out for a few months, maka had become extremely apprehensive to soul leaving her. Of course, soul would never do so, and she knew it, but she still didn't like the idea, like the normal person doesn't like the idea of their possessions burning up in a house fire.

"stop it you two. As for your question, maka…" Stein said, twisting the screw in his head a few more times. _Crick. Crick. Crick._

"well…" Stein's normally apathetic demeanor faltered, and his eyes darted around. Even without "looking", maka could see fear in his soul. Afraid of a student?

"perhaps it is best for him to just show you."

There was a pause throughout the room. Stein appeared to be waiting for something.

"shy?" he said suddenly. "Not surprising. Living creatures like you are often nervous when-"

Stein stopped. He had turned towards the door, as though he was expecting somebody to be standing there.

"don't play games with us stein. Where's this 'classmate'." Said Soul.

"I don't know. He was following me… I heard his footsteps… i…"

"oh, was I supposed to be following you? My apologies. I… forgot."

The voice was rough. It sounded like somebody had rubbed it all over a grindstone. It was definitely a voice of one about maka's age, but it sounded… infinitely older.

It came from right beside maka, on her left.

Maka's head slowly turned…

There was a teen sitting next to her.

Well, teen is a relative term. He looked about 18 or 19, upon closer inspection, but at first glance, he was no older then maka. It was almost like his age was shifting as maka looked.

The teen had a green Mohawk. Not dark green, but neon green, almost luminescent and glowing.

He was wearing a black battlesuit. It was so black, it could have been made out of obsidian or ebony… or oil. It was so perfectly conjoined, it didn't look like a suit. It looked virtually like a part of the teen's body.

His hands were horrible claws, conjoined to the battlesuit. His feet had two prongs, like alien toes.

His face, or what maka could see of it, was human, with brown eyes.

"YAAAH!"

Maka jumped about 6 feet in the air. After all, this creepy-ass dude just appeared out of nowhere, right next to her.

"what? Am I really that ugly?" said the teen. "I'm not surprised. Pathetic, stupid me."

Then he started crying.

Seriously.

His face just hit the desk and he just started crying.

Maka gaped. This guy had lower self-esteem then chrona!

"um… there there…" Maka said. not knowing what to do, she patted his back, though being careful to avoid the spikes of his suit.

"BRIIING!"

Everyone looked around, shocked at the sudden noise.

"damn, I was later then I thought I was!" said stein. "class dismissed! I had a really fun dissection lab planned for today, too…"

Weirded out, maka began to leave, but didn't get far before the gravely voice said, "hey."

Maka stopped and slowly turned around. Soul, overprotective guard dog he is, growled at the newcomer.

He was no longer crying, but expressionless once more.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to weird you out or anything. Its just…" he stopped, and looked down at the floor. "…I have a new start at this school. I didn't want everyone to think I was a weirdo from the very start."

For some god-knows-what reason, Maka began to like this stranger. He reminded her of chrona, only… freakier. And being freakier then chrona is no small feat.

"it's ok. I'd be nervous too if I were you." She said. "come with us. We'll help you."

"um, Maka? Is that a good idea?" said soul, apprehensive at the idea of a human pincushion coming into their house.

"shut up soul. You would be like him too if you switched places with… er…" her head turned back to the stranger. "what's your name? I didn't catch it."

"my… name…" Said the teen, now looking up at maka. "well… my name is…"

" "

Maka and soul stared. What the hell was that? That name didn't even sound REMOTELY human! Was he just speaking gibberish?

"um… right. C'mon… lets go back to our place." Maka put her arm around the newcomer.

Just before she left, though, she saw a strange sight.

Up until now, Maka had only seen his right profile. Now, though, she saw the left side of his face too… and his left eye.

Which was black as hell's pits, with a horrible yellow center. No pupil, just a sheer yellow iris.

Maka shivered. What the hell was this guy?

first fanfiction on this site! Plz review and tell me whether it sucks! More to follow, stay tuned!


	2. at the apartment

**Maka and soul's place.**

The laughing sun was just beginning to fall in the sky when Maka, Soul, and the boy (we'll call him green-hair for simplicity's sake, for now.) reached their apartment.

"nice place you have here" green-hair said, looking around.

"yeah… thanks…" said maka, backing away.

She'd changed her mind a bit about this new one on the walk here.

In the 5-minute walk, green-hair had undergone over ten mood swings. From happy to mad to depressed to happy again, and all the moods in between.

Still, maka felt somehow… compelled… to help this stranger. As though the spirit of kindness had taken a grip on her heart and refused to let go.

"care for some tea? Coffee?"

"maka, whats the deal? Your acting like this guy's bitch, instead of mine!"

MAKA CHOP!

"…that came out wrong." Soul said from the floor, blood streaming from the newly made gash in his head.

"so, where are you from?" Maka asked the stranger, as though nothing had happened.

"um… I don't know…"

"you don't?"

an amnesiac? Stranger and stranger this day gets.

"my memory… I feel like… theres something ive forgotten…" Green-hair shook his head back and forth, like he was trying to get rid of a bothersome fly.

"Maka-chan! Soul-kun!" Blair said, in cat form, leaping in from the window.

"oh no- gahhh!" Soul said as blair gave him one of her trademark boob hugs.

"Dammit blair… we have company!"

"so we do!" Said blair, flouncing over to green-hair, who was staring straight ahead of him.

"nyaaannn- OUCH!" said blair, who had gone in to give green-hair a hug, but had reared back, clutching her breasts. "spikies and boobies do not mix!" she said, turning into cat form and scampering into the next room.

"good riddance." Said Maka. "now then, do you want some – hey, are you all right?"

green-hair was still staring dead ahead. Maka had assumed he was staring at blair's assets, but now he was staring at empty wall. Something was definitely up.

"you… you're maka… maka albarn… the soul-hunter…" he said, looking at maka with those wide eyes, one brown, one yellow-black.

"well, it appears my reputation proceeds me." Maka said happily.

"and you… you're Soul 'Eater' Evans…" he said, pointing to soul, who had just gotten off the ground, an anime bandage on his head.

"what's it to you?" said Soul, brushing himself off.

"and… and your friends… black star, the egomaniac… tsubaki, the chain scythe… kid, the ocd king…"

Green-hair continued to rattle off the names of the entire spartoi team, while maka and soul watched in amazement. How could he possibly know the whole team?

"wh-what are you?" said maka, backing up, frightened.

"start talking! How do you know us!" said soul, transforming his arm into a scythe and shoving it under green-hair's chin.

"Soul wait!"

Soul paused, and looked around. Maka was looking around, as though looking for a attacking bee.

"what is it Maka?" he asked, worrying that this was all going to hell.

"don't you hear it soul?" Maka said, not looking at soul, still looking around her.

"drumbeats…"

Soul listened closely. Now that she mentioned it… he could hear steady drumbeats… faint, but increasing…

_Bum._

_Bum-Bum._

_Bum._

_Bum-bum._

Now that soul really listened, he could also hear chanting. Again, low in volume, but rapidly increasing.

_Huh! Huah! Hueh!_

_Huh! Huah! Heh!_

_Huh! Huah! Heh!_

_Huh! Huah! Heh!_

Now soul could hear violins, too…

_Vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-VA-VA-_ _Vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-VA-VA-_

_Vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-vum-VA-VA…_

Now the source of the unearthly chant was obvious, and maka and soul stared. Though he was not moving his lips, not moving anything, the chanting was definitely coming from green hair.

The chant grew even louder. A new drum rhythm was added.

_Bum. Bum. Bum._

_Bum. Bum. Bum._

_Bum. Bum. Bum._

_Bum. Bum. Bum._

The chant grew to incredible levels. Now there was an added chorus, what sounded like old, wise men.

Oooooo-oooooo-oooooo-oooooo…

Oooooo-_oooooo-__**oooooo-**__**oooooo!**_

And, as the chant reached its peak, green-hair suddenly sprang to life, jumping on top of the coffee table, and singing words which didn't even sound remotely human.

And he sang, in a mighty powerful voice…

DOVAHKIIN! DOVAHKIIN! NAL OK ZIN LOS VAARIN!

WAH DEIN! VOKUL! MAEHFAERAK AHST VAAL!

AHRK FIN NOROK PAAL GRAAN… FOD HUS NO ZINDRO ZAN!

DOVAHKIIN! FAH HIN! KOGAAN MU DRAAL!

The song went into something of an interlude, green hair jumping from table to shelf to top of the tv, nimbly as a gazelle, not even wobbling anything. Then he sang again, perched on the lamp, more quietly but just as forceful.

Huzrah… nu… kul do od!

Wah… an bok… lingrah vod!

Ahrk fin tey…

Baziik fun…

Do FIIIIN GEIIIN!

"maka… what the hell…" said soul, staring at green-hair, jumping around joyfully on the floor.

"I have no idea…"said maka. Was this guy on acid?

And then, green hair sang yet again, but this time in almost a whisper, a steady, low chant, which chilled the bones.

Wo lost fron wah ney dov arhk fiin reyliik do jul voth… aan suuleyk wah ronit faal krein!

Then, in a voice so low it was almost intangible…

Fod zey… mah… win… kein… mez… fun… dein!

Alduin, feyn do jun…

Kruuzik vokun staadnau…

Voth-ann bahlok wah diivon fin-lein!

The trumpets went crazy as green-hair straightened up from his crooked stance.

Then, with the voice of a god, he sprang forth, and sang more powerfully then anything!

Bizzarely enough, maka could have sworn some of this verse was English…

Nuz aan sul…

THANK THE LORRRD!

FUKKING COOL!

OH MY GOD!

ME GUSTA VO!

MAH-FAEEERAAK!

AHRK **RUUUUUU-UUUZZZZ!**

Paaz KEIZAAL fen kos stin nol bein ALLLLLLLLDUIN'S MAAAAWWW!

CRASH!

Right between he said "bein" and "alduin", the green-haired madman leaped out of the window!

Soul and maka stuck their heads outside, to see green-hair tearing away. Though they could no longer hear his words, he was still singing, definitely.

"…what in shinigama-sama's name was THAT?" Soul said.

"I have no idea… I'll call the window repairman… he oughta be used to it, after all the times black star has done it." Maka said, walking to the kitchen.

One thing was sure; she was NEVER inviting that lunatic here again.

And yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that a can of worms had somehow just been opened…

what was that all about? Stay tuned to find out!

And I do not own soul eater, nor the song. That's right. It's a real song. See if you can figure it out.


	3. mugger

1 month after the previous chapter

death grocery store

"ah, symmetry! Such wonderful symmetry!"

anyone who's watched soul eater pretty much whatsoever knows who just said that remark.

If you don't, congratulations! You are officially more stupid then a rock.

Anyways, kid, liz and patty walked out of the grocery store, each carrying a bag of groceries; kid in the center, flanked by his two weapons.

This particular bit of adoration from kid came from the fact that he had managed to buy 8 of every item they needed, AND managed to arrange them exactly symmetrical in the bags!

Which had taken an extra half-hour.

Much to liz' displeasure.

Of course, patty didn't care, because… c'mon. she's patty.

Anyways, the trio were walking through death city, carrying their bags (kid marveling symmetry, liz complaining about how her nails would be ruined, patty singing a song about giraffes) when a voice from a nearby alley said, "hey. You in the tux."

As kid stopped and turned to see who had spoken, huge arms reached from the dark alleyway, and scooped the trio in!

Before they could even register what was happening, they were pinned against the wall, by a thief, a mugger.

It was too dark to really see him, but what they could register of him were tattered jeans, and a bare, muscular chest. His eyes and most of his head other then his mouth was covered by a black bandage.

"dammit kid!" said liz, temporarily ignoring the mugger. "when a voice from a dark alley tells you to stop, DON'T STOP!"

"technically, he did not tell me to stop, he merely addressed me." Kid said. "furthermore, simply ignoring someone like that would be incredibly rude, Elizabeth, and I have more manners then you do."

Liz facepalmed. Or she would have, had the mugger not had them all pinned against the wall, side by side, one hand on either side of them, his head inches away from kid's.

The mugger smiled, his teeth showing. They now saw that his teeth were sharp and pointy, like soul's.

"kid… how much do you have in your wallet right now?" said liz, turning back into the scaredy-cat we all know and love.

"n-not much." Said kid, his cool composure slightly breaking. This man's wavelength… so negative… so much hatred…

The man suddenly laughed. A chuckle which sounded like a hoe being dragged over gravel.

"oh, I do not wish your money." He said, in a bizarre accent. Impossible for even the many-language kid to place.

"a-a r-r-rapist?" said liz, cowering. She had thought she was rid of those ever since she left the streets of new york!

"oh, I do not wish your bodies either. Though…" the mugger's head turned to Liz, a pointed tongue snaking from his teeth and licking his lips. "…yours does look particularly delicious."

"meep." Said liz, clutching kid's sleeve with the hand closer to him.

"liz get off! You're making me unsymmetrical!" kid said, jerking away from her as best he can.

Symmetry. He can't forget it for a second.

"no, I seek not your money, or bodies…" the mugger said. "I merely seek… sustenance…"

"sustenance? Y-you mean… food?" said liz. "you want our… out groceries?" a light appeared at the end of the tunnel.

"Hee hee! Mr mugger's just hungry!" said patty cheerily.

"correct, child. I am… hungry…" at this, his head darted back to liz, his snake tongue licking her cheek. Liz made a small squeaking noise, like a mouse being stepped on.

Then, with incredible speed, the mugger's arms shot closed on the three bags of food, and he sped off down the alleyway, leaving just a tub of cool whip® in his wake.

"well… that's a relief… ok heart, you can start beating again." Said Liz, a small, relieved smile appearing on her weary face.

"oh oh… kid' maaaddd…" said patty, making a little pose at kid.

"such perfect symmetry…" kid said, picking up the tub of cool whip. "destroyed by that barbarian…"

"liz! Patty! Weapon forms! We're going after him! Let's teach that bastard a lesson in symmetry!"

"roger dodger!" said patty.

"o-ok." Said liz. Now that kid was wielding them, her fear had vanished.

The duo transformed into pistols, landing perfectly in death's hands, who rode on his skateboard after the mugger.

Seconds later, the mugger came into sight. Hearing, kid's skateboard wheels rolling on the ground, he could tell kid was right on top of him.

"_shit!_" the mugger said. he sped up, but human legs were no match for a death-god-powered skateboard. Kid bore down on him, and fired a pair of pistol blasts directly into his head.

The mugger stopped. "uh… u-uh…" he made small gasping noises, his head reaching back to where a large chunk of his neck had been blown off. A couple more blasts from kid severed it entirely, leaving the man's head brutally decapitated from his body.

Kid slowed down, hopping off his skateboard, tossing the Thompson sisters behind him, who turned back into human form.

"kid… that guy wasn't even an kishin… you kind of overdid it…" said liz, turning a little green at the sight of the blood spewing from the body. The head, still covered by the bandadge, twitched a little at the corner of it's mouth.

"who cares? That bastard got what he richly deserved." Said kid, picking up the stolen groceries. "liz! Patty! I'm going to rearrange these so they are symmetrical again. You two clean up the mess."

"kee hee! Ok!" said patty, flouncing over to the decapitated body and head.

But then, as the trio acted…

The decapitated body sat up.

Liz screamed, shrilly.

The body got on it's hands and knees, and patted its hands around the alley floor. At first the trio didn't know what it was doing. But then they knew. It was searching for its head.

Kid got into a fighting stance, prepared to counter if the body suddenly attacked.

The body found its head, which had rolled to the edge of the alley. With fumbling hands, it managed to place the head back upon it's neck.

"what's it doing?" said kid. "it's not like its head is going to magically reattatch itself…"

"actually, it just did."

The gravely voice made the trio jump. The mugger got to his feet, and slowly turned to face the trio.

"you try anything, and we'll kick your ass!"

"symmetrically."

"kya ha ha!"

"no…" said the mugger, his voice cracking. He suddenly THUNKed to the floor of the alley, cradling his head in his hands, sobbing his eyes out. Was it a trick? No… those were real tears! "please! No more! It… it hurt so bad… guhh…" he sobbed.

The trio stared. Five minutes ago, this had been a blood thirsty monster, but now, he was sobbing helplessly, at their mercy.

Patty bounced over to the mugger, and (ignoring the other two's protests, warning her to be careful) gave him a hug.

The mugger's head shot out of his hands, staring at patty through the bandadges. Then, slowly, a smile appeared on his face, and he hugged patty back. "thank you…" he said.

Liz' heart opened up to this stranger. After all, she had risen on the streets, too, and this poor stranger was in an even worse state then the Thompson sisters had been on their worst day. She slowly walked over, and patted the mugger on his bandaged head. "hey. You're gonna catch a cold without a shirt like that. C'mon back to our place. We'll warm you up." She looked at kid briefly, for conformation that this was good with him. Kid nodded. Though this dirty stranger would mess up the symmetry of his home, he wasn't completely heartless.

Gently, liz and patty stood the exhausted mugger up. Liz delicately unwrapped the bandage from his head; she was curious to see what was under there.

The mugger's hand shot to where Liz was unwrapping the bandage. "you can look under there… but it's not a pretty sight." He said.

Liz nodded, and the mugger's hand lifted off of hers, allowing her to unwrap the bandage the rest of the way, and see his true face.

It was green hair.

(did you expect doctor Frankenstein? –annoying author)

Liz gasped, recognizing him from soul and maka's description. "you…"

"yes Elizabeth." The mugger said, turning to look at her with those eyes, one brown, one yellow-black.

"how… how do you know my name?" said Liz.

"it's a long tale…" The mugger said, walking out of the alley into the dark night, patty still clinging to his bare chest obliviously, "…and I wish to do it justice. I shall tell it to you, once we reach gallows manor."

Liz and Kid looked at each other. Then they turned, and followed the stranger into the dark night.


	4. depression

"Well, here we are."

The trio had arrived at the magnificent, symmetrical gallows manor.

As the trio and their new friend walked in, green-hair looked around. "just as I predicted this place would be. Symmetrical, not a hair out of place."

"just as I like it. Elizabeth, Patricia, set him up in the guest room. I'm exhausted." Said Kid, yawning and raising his arms perfectly symmetrically as he walked up the stairs to his room.

"Gotcha. C'mon… erm… what's your name?" Liz said to green-hair behind her. Not hearing a response, she turned around, to see Patty standing alone. Green-hair was nowhere in sight.

"where'd he go?" said Liz nervously. She didn't like the idea of this guy walking around their house unmonitored.

"giraffe giraffe giraffe…" said Patty, playing with one of the hundreds of stuffed giraffes spread around the manor.

"_sigh._ Whatever. I'm gonna go get ready for- whoop!" said Liz, the last bit contributed to her nearly tripping over green-hair.

He was curled up in the middle of the floor, like a dog.

"I'll catch you guys in the morning. I won't waste one of your beds on myself." he said as he closed his eyes. Well, his good eye. His weird black-yellow eye didn't have a lid, but the yellow bit just disappeared, like it turned off.

"um…"said Liz. She couldn't just leave him here on the floor, or her conscience would kill her. "it… it's not a waste…" She didn't really know how to deal with this guy.

"of course it is." Said green-hair, not opening his eyes. "I'm such a useless excuse for a being that I don't deserve a bed. I don't even deserve the heater for this house. I'll sleep on the porch." He dragged himself up, and walked zombielike to the door they had just entered through.

"hey!" Liz was used to dealing with low self esteem (she lived with kid, after all) but this was just depressing. "you can't sleep on the porch!"

"you know what? Youre right. Of course I cant." Said green-hair, his hand on the doorknob. "I'll sleep in the middle of the street, where no light will reach me. Maybe a car will hit me and put me out of my misery."

Liz gawked. This guy's ego was about as low as a bottomless pit.

"Dammit!" she suddenly said, irritated at this guy's sheer depression. "stop with the self-insults! Nobody should treat anyone this way, let alone themselves! Leave yourself alone!"

"oh really? Give me a good reason not to go out there and lay in the middle of the street." Green-hair said, now standing on the porch. "nobody knows my name. im just a useless piece of crap. I deserve to die."

"STOP IT!" said Liz, now downright at this guy's depression. She slapped him on the side of the head, almost having to jump to reach it, he was so tall. "don't do this to yourself! You don't deserve this."

"dammit! Don't try to stop me! Im useless! Im just a waste of death city's resources! I-" he stopped suddenly. His body suddenly gave a violent shudder, and Liz heard him whisper words. The words didn't sound English.

He suddenly turned around again, looking down at Liz who was right in front of him, almost 3 inches shorter then him. His lips bent into a small, akward smile. "god, I'm sorry. I must have looked pretty freaky right there, all the talk of killing myself."

"Um… what?" said Liz, still somewhat surprised at the sudden mood swing.

"You'll have to excuse me. You see…" he said, putting his arm around liz' shoulders, guiding her slowly into the manor once more. "…I have a bit of a split personality disorder. Or, split emotion disorder. Right there, you saw depression, who got the controls for a few minutes."

"um… ok…" said Liz, getting out of her shock. "what personality are you in right now?"

"meh, now I'm just in happy mode. I'll try to stay in it as much as I can, but I cant garuntee that I'll be in it 24-7."

"why's that?" said Liz, who now watched him lie down on the couch and close his eyes.

"the reason I have these mood swings…" he said, not opening his eyes, "is that…"

"I'm insane."

Liz stared at him for a moment before he said, "and on that happy note, I bid you good night, Elizabeth." He said, now sleeping.

Liz stared at him for another minute, before she walked upstairs, wondering if it would have been best for him to sleep outside after all.

yay fourth chapter!

Im not sure if I like this one or not. Meh, whatever. What matters is whether you like it or not. Review so I know plz.

I own nobody other then green hair.


	5. curing kid

Liz yawned as she walked down the stairs. It was about 7:30 in the morning. Kid wouldn't be up for another half-hour. (see what I did there? –obnoxious author)

As she walked over to the kitchen, she heard patty in the living room. That was weird, Patty never woke up before 9:00.

Green-hair sat on the couch, Patty sitting next to him in giraffe-covered pajamas. They were watching some show on cartoon network, something about aliens. They were laughing together, the huge muscled one and the relatively tiny blonde one, as though they were both ten-year-old siblings.

"Hey Liz. Sleep well?" said green-hair casually.

"yes, thank you." said Liz.

"That's good. Well, I made breakfast for you."

"What?"

"yeah. Figured it was the least I could do, for you letting me stay here and stuff."

Liz looked into the kitchen. Her favorite breakfast, waffles with powdered sugar and bacon on the side, lay on the table, waffles on one side, bacon on the other.

"yum, thanks!" said Liz as she began to eat. She barely even got a few bites down, though, before she heard a voice.

"what… is… this."

"oh, hey Kid." said Liz, looking over her shoulder at Kid, who had just appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"liz… how could you…" he said.

"how could I what?"

"HOW COULD YOU EAT THAT ASSYMETRICAL GARBAGE?"

Liz looked down at her plate, and saw that the bacon was on one side and the waffles on the other. Not symmetrical at all.

She also remembered: because kid could never get bacon to curl perfectly symmetrically in the pan, he had outlawed it in the house.

Before she could protest, before she could even brace herself, kid had taken her breakfast and dumped it down the sink.

"what the hell kid!" she said. "that was my favorite breakfast!"

"correction: it was your favorite assymetrical breakfast."

"…you're evil, you know that?"

"if evil is a synonym for symmetrical, then yes. I am very evil."

Liz groaned. This was hopeless! She stalked over to the couch where green-hair and patty still sat. she sat down in a huff.

"something wrong liz?" said green-hair.

"yeah, I'm ok… its just… I wish kid wasn't so obsessed with symmetry."

"why? What'd he do?"

"threw breakfast down the garbage disposal."

"WHAT?" said green-hair, growling like kid had killed a relative of his. "that bastard! That's it, I'm putting a stop to this. You guys may not want to watch this next bit."

He stalked over to the kitchen, where Kid still tried to get the disposal to dispose symmetrically.

It was a couple of seconds before there was a blue light from the kitchen. There was a crack like a whip, and a noise which sounded like a vacuum cleaner. The blue light lasted for about a minute, then went away. The noises stopped.

Green-hair came out, clutching a huge king cobra. The cobra was brown, and perfectly symmetrical.

"um… what's with the snake?" said Liz.

"I'm glad you asked that Liz." Said green-hair. He put one hand on patty's shoulder, the other on Liz'. "girls, I have some good news."

"I have cured kid's ocd."

Liz and Patty turned around, shocked. This couldn't be true!

Kid had been to hundreds of counselors, and they all quit in frustration. He had tried hundreds of medications, but his shinigami body ejected them automatically, because they were toxins.

"Y-you're kidding." Said Liz.

"This I gotta see!" said Patty happily, flouncing over to the kitchen.

"I'm deadly serious. This," green-hair said holding up the king cobra, "is the embodiment of his symmetry obsessions. I took all his ocd out, then expelled it in a random form. This random form just happened to be a cobra."

Patty came back into the living room, carrying a unconscious kid, bridal-style. She sat him down on the couch, between Liz and herself.

As Kid sat there, his eyes opened. He shook himself all over. His eyes opened, rather glazed-looking.

"Kid?" said green-hair said, squatting down in front of him. "how many fingers am I holding up." He held up his hands, five fingers raised on one, two more raised on the other.

"seven." Said Kid casually.

Liz and Patty gasped. Normally Kid refused to say the number seven if his life depended on it.

"does that bother you?" said green-hair, slowly, as though he were speaking to a not-very-bright child.

"no. why should it?" said Kid. "seven's just a number, after all. No different then any other."

Liz and Patty were now gawking at Kid. Was it true? Had his symmetry obsession really been cured? It was almost too good to be true!

"one more test." Green-hair said. He went over to the painting hanging above the TV. Gently, making sure Kid could see him, Green-hair nudged the painting so that it was crooked for several inches.

Kid didn't even blink. "um… ok… whatever. I'm gonna go back to bed now. Sleep until nine or something. Liz, Patty, make yourselves breakfast." He slowly walked up the stairs.

Liz and Patty stared after him. Normally Kid would have spit up blood and fallen on the floor, or at least attempted to fix the painting!

Also, Kid always called them 'Elizabeth and Patricia.' Right then, he had called them their usual names.

Not to mention, kid always made his sentences carefully crafted, but those sentences had come out of his mouth with little or no thought to them.

Liz and Patty then looked at each other. Their shocked expressions grew into gleeful smiles. It was as though an evil dictator had had a heart attack, leaving his subjects free to enjoy themselves.

Which is exactly what they did.

The next week was quite possibly the best of Liz and Patty's lives.

Liz could finally eat ice cream without having to take the scoops exactly symmetrically from the carton!

Patty could finally play with her favorite giraffe! (which had non-symmetrical spots)

Liz could read her non-symetrical magazines without having to lock herself up in her room while she did it!

Patty could finally dance around to her favorite songs, without having to dance in perfectly symmetrical patterns!

Liz could eat as much waffles and bacon as she could fit in her stomach!

Patty could go on a giraffe-toting rampage through the manor, knocking over candles and paintings as she did!

Yes, this was about as close to nirvana as it could get for the Thompson sisters.

Kid even joined them in a game of twister, which he had outlawed due to the non-symmetrical body positions and spots.

As Liz enjoyed herself, she noticed Kid watched them both with disdain. She figured this was the last vestiges of his ocd, and thought even this would go away after a while. Even if it didn't, it was easier to live with a few glares then a kid in a tuxedo having seizures at the slightest bit of non-symmetrical-ness.

Oh how little did she know…

Not bad if I do say so myself! I really like how this chap came out.

Like the cliffhanger? Continued in next chap!

This is a little 2-bit fluff, before we go back to the main storyline. Sort of a what-if kind of storyline, as in what-if kid wasn't so obsessed with symmetry.

I own nothing other then green-hair.


	6. breaking kid

"Liz, Patty, could you come over to the living room for a second?"

Kid's voice echoed over the intercom. Liz and Patty walked to the living room.

By now, the novelty had worn off the whole no-symmetry bit, but it was still luxury for the Thompson sisters. They wore their usual outfits (red tops, blue jeans, cowboy hats, etc) out of sheer habit.

As they walked into the living room, they noticed, against the wall, a target, which had not been there before.

Kid stood there, in ripped jeans, and a black tank top with a skull on it. Ever since his curing, he had dressed quite a bit more casually.

"Sit down girls. What im about to say may shock you."

The girls sat down.

"Liz… Patty… there's somebody I want you to meet. Come on in, Sasha."

In walked through the door, a girl with curly brown-red hair. Her hair was longer on one side then the other, and she wore a long, red, sparkly dress, with a strap over one shoulder.

Liz wondered how kid had let this assymetrical woman in, then remembered the whole kid-no-longer-likes-symmetry bit.

"Girls, Sasha is… your… your… well… perhaps I should demonstrate first. Sasha, transform."

The girl glowed and morphed, and Liz and Patty gasped. The girl was a weapon!

Less then a second later, in half the time Liz or Patty could transform, Sasha was gone. In her place was a huge gatling gun, with handles for holding. Kid picked her up, and casually, blasted a few dozen pink blasts in less then a second at the target. It was instantly vaporized.

"and… and what does Sasha have to do with us?" Said Liz. She already knew the answer, somehow, but refused to believe it.

"girls… I don't know how to put this, so I will put it bluntly."

"you're fired."

"Sasha is your replacement."

The girls gasped. Then Patty hugged Liz, crying.

"but… but why?" said Liz.

"well, girls, Sasha is far superior to you in every way possible. Not to mention, she is obedient, and doesn't make a mess everywhere. Sasha has incredibly fast fire rate, is incredibly light, is brilliantly smart, while you two… I honestly don't remember why I recruited you two in the first place."

"it's because we're symmetrical!" Said Liz, shaking Kid by the lapels of his jacket. "remember Kid? Symmetry?"

Kid laughed. "why on earth would I hire you solely because of symmetry. That's preposterous."

Liz' eyes filled with tears. This wasn't Kid, this wasn't the Kid she knew.

"don't worry, im sure you guys will get used to being back on the streets." Said Sasha, smiling at Liz. How Liz hated her smile, her smug attitude!

Suddenly, a invisible wall pushed Liz and patty back to the couch. At the same time, what looked like a blue, four-armed monkey fell from the ceiling onto kids head. In one hand it held the cobra which contained Kid's symmetry.

It shoved the snake into kid's mouth, which slithered in obediently. Once it was about 3/4ths of the way into his mouth, though, the monkey cut off the rest of it with a knife from its third hand, leaving a foot-long stretch of snake tail on the floor.

Kid promptly fainted, as the monkey leapt to the floor in front of Liz and Patty. Then, because the day couldn't get any weirder, the monkey began to ttransform.

It's arms melded from four to two. It stood on its hind legs, and began to grow. Newly formed muscles rippled its body Its tail shrunk back into its rear. Its left eye turned black-yellow, and its hair morphed into a green Mohawk. Clothes formed over its now-human skin.

Where seconds before the blue monkey had been, green-hair now stood.

"You girls ok?" he said, as the girls' jaws hit the floor.

"what-you-monkey-arms-what?" they said alternatingly.

"did I forget to mention I am a expert shapeshifter?" said green-hair. As the girls opened their mouths to ask more questions, green-hair raised his hand. "all your questions I will answer later. Now we need to check on kid."

Liz, Patty, green-hair and Sasha leaned over the unconscious kid. Suddenly, kid's eyes snapped open and he gasped. Then murder grew in his eyes.

"WHAT IS THAT ASSYMETRICAL WOMAN DOING HERE?" he said. he picked up sasha and carried her to the door, where he unceremoniously punted her out. "and don't come back!" he said, slamming the door. He then turned around. "Elizabeth. Patricia." He said. Liz and Patty's hearts jumped at that familiar voice. Kid was back! They hugged him (being careful to be symmetrical as they did so, one on each side.)

"ack! Get off me you two! It's time for me to check if the toilet paper is folded!" he said, looking at his watch. He wriggled free from the girls' grasp, and zoomed to the nearest bathroom.

"he doesn't remember a thing. Good." Said green-hair, turning to Liz and Patty. "I heard how Kid was getting rid of you girls, and I really didn't want that. So I snatched the snake, and fed it to him, to bring his OCD back."

"and what's this?" said Liz, holding up the last chunk of snake tail between forefinger and thumb.

"ah, well, I got rid of a bit of it. He'll still be obsessed with symmetry, but he won't have a seizure every time he sees a piece of bacon anymore, at least." Said green-hair, scratching his head sheepishly. "if you want, I can feed that bit to him too-"

"NO!" shouted Liz and Patty, raising their hands. Then they hugged him, smiling ear to ear.

green-hair looked at them, surprised, before happily hugging back.

sweet its finally done. Im exhausted.

Back to the dramatic main storyline now… enjoy!

I own nobody other then green-hair and sasha.


	7. New questions

It was a couple days after the curing of kid that the next leg of the journey started. By now the activities at gallows manor had returned to usual.

The trio were sitting at the dining table, eating. Or at least, Liz and Kid were. Patty was making her food into little giraffes.

"hey kid?"

"Yes, Elizabeth?"

"Did you ever catch that green-haired guy's name?"

"…now that you mention it… no."

"weird. Patty, have you learned his name?"

"that's a no, nee-chan!"

"strange. He's lived with us for, like, a week and a half, and none of us have learned his name. I think im gonna go and ask him real quick. I'll only be a min."

"im a generous shinigami. Have 8 minutes."

Liz rolled her eyes as she walked up the stairs to green-hair's room.

At first, green-hair had refused to take a room. As time went by, however, and green-hair got more comfortable, he eventually took one of the 5 guest rooms. (combined with liz, patty, and kid's rooms, this, of course, made 8 bedrooms.)

As Liz walked down the hall towards green-hair's room, she heard the crackling of static, coming from his door. She walked over to his room and opened the door just a tiny bit.

To see a scene straight out of "Poltergeist".

Green-hair was kneeling at the foot of his bed, in front of the 36-inch flat screen hdtv which occupied the room. He had both his palms on the screen of the TV. His good eye was closed, but his black-yellow eye was doing something bizarre. A small, blue, ghostly cord connected from it to the center of the TV. Green-hair was doing a bizarre, unearthly chant.

As liz watched, though green-hair continued to chant, she swore she heard… words. In her head. One was green-hair's voice. The other, a voice in a bizarre language. It was definitely female.

_No… no…_

_**Gurren lagan. Dinoas mikkarne liyonos.**_

_How… how did you…_

_**Rekkton drinos. Karans makano lalayso.**_

_No… I won't let you…_

_**Dektronia. Dalk ba lmenos chkarne.**_

_You… you wouldn't… you can't…_

_**Kao malk.**_

_Im….. im never going back… im happy here… I have found… friends…_

_**Kra ka ka ka ka ka! Joo skarne nego fraine.**_

_No… you're wrong… you're wrong…_

_**Skarr mess. Lectron kenoar bekare lamo. Felo daiy.**_

_Burn in hell, you heartless bitch._

At this last bit, Green-hair removed his hands from the TV. The static stopped, he stopped chanting, and the cord from his eye disappeared.

He turned and saw Liz for the first time.

"ah! Liz! What're you doing there? I mean… when did you arrive?"

"um… I opened the door just now…" Liz lied, thinking it was best not to reveal that she had heard the conversation. "Is something wrong?"

"oh, heavens no! I was just… surprised to see you." Said green-hair, becoming happy. Liz strongly suspected it was a false front, for something within him. "is there something you require"

"um… oh yeah." Liz had nearly forgotten the reason she had come up in the first place. "I just wanted to ask you… what's your name? I never learned it."

"really?" said green-hair, looking shocked. "how thoughtless of me! I apologize, sincerely. My name is-"

KRA-KOOM!

Green-hair was interrupted by a huge explosion. It sounded like it came from about a quarter mile away, somewhere in death city.

"what was that?" said Liz.

Green-hair's good eye went distant, and he paled. "no… already… it couldn't be…"

Ignoring liz, green-hair spun around and shot to the window, throwing open the curtains.

They both gasped as they saw what lay outside.

A huge tripod loomed over death city.

Its huge feet slammed down mercilessly. Countless lasers shot from turrets on its underbelly, obliterating buildings.

"no… NO!" Shouted green-hair. "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!" he ran over to liz and put his hands on her shoulders. "Liz, I have to stop this. For the love of god, do not follow me, or attempt to fight that thing, no matter what happens."

He ran back to the window, and, tucking his arms and legs so that he formed a ball, he barreled through it. Then, as Liz stared, his arms shot out, and formed bat wings. He grew talons on his feet, and grew purple fur all over. Green, pointy ears shot up on either side of his Mohawk. He flew to the tripod, and engaged it in combat, circling it and diving at it, slashing with his talons. He unleashed sonic screeches from his fanged maw, blasting the tripod, which staggered, but did not fall. It turned its turrets towards green-hair, and began to fire at him. Green-hair also staggered in midair, but did not fall.

As they fought, Liz realized that she couldn't just sit here. Green-hair fought fiercely, but he wasn't a match for the tripod, which was slowly but steadily wearing him down.

She sprinted down the quaking hall and stairs to the dining room, where Kid was desparately, futilely trying to keep the paintings in place. Patty was pouting because her food-girrafes had fallen over.

"guys! Death city is under attack!"

"who cares?" said Kid. "my paintings will fall over!"

"dammit kid! The entire city will fall over is we don't do something!"

"the city can be rebuilt! These paintings are perfectly calibrated and symmetrical, placed exactly so-"

Liz came up with an idea. "the symmetry of the city and buildings will be thrown off too! All those buildings, ruined…"

Liz blinked. Kid was no longer protecting his paintings, but jumping at the door impatiently, patty in hand.

"HURRY UP LIZ! WE NEED TO SAVE THE CITY!"

smirking, liz transformed, and leapt into Kid's hand, who wasted no time whatsoever in sprinting out the door towards the tripod.

cliffhanger time!

Hope you guys like this chapter.


	8. The journey begins

"I will not let you destroy this perfect symmetry, monster!" screamed kid as he took aim at the tripod and blasted the living hell out of it. Or attempted to. His attacks barely left a dent.

Upon hearing the scream, green-hair, still in transformed state, looked down from the battle at kid.

"NO! KID, GET BACK! GET THE FUCK BACK!" screamed green-hair as he dove at kid. He snatched him by his shoulders and flew away with him.

The tripod stopped acting sluggish and moved with lightning speed, as it whipped one of its three tentacles up. The tentacle's bottom now opened into a gaping hole. The tripod whipped its arm at kid, and sucked him in.

"NOOO!" said green-hair, looking back at kid, who had disappeared into the now closing bottom of the tentacle. He made to swoop and save him. There was still time. But then he heard a scream, and saw Liz and Patty, falling to the ground from fifty feet. Even in weapon form, they would be killed. At impossible speed, he screeched to the ground and caught them as they were inches from the ground.

As he turned back to go for kid, though, he saw the tripod rocketing off into space from whence it had surely come.

"DAMMIT!" green-hair screamed. He transformed back to normal, and fell to the ground. It was ten feet above, but he landed gracefully as a gazelle. Liz and Patty didn't land as gracefully, but due to them being in weapon form, they didn't sustain any damage.

They transformed back to normal. "kid!" "kiddo-kun!" they yelled at the sky, as though they could conjure him back.

"Liz! Patty!"

the duo turned to look at the new figures rushing up to them: Tsubaki and Soul.

"did Kid get kidnapped too?" said Soul, panicked.

"yeah, how did you know?" said Liz, equally panicked.

"Black*Star got abducted by that thing! Maka too!" said Tsubaki, also panicked.

"hee hee! Three legged beastie kidnaps the meisters!" said Patty, leaping around with a smile on her face. Liz knew patty, though, that was her "worried as heck" face. Probably.

Suddenly, Liz was pounced on from behind. Next thing she knew, she was on her back, green hair was on her abs, and he was shaking her by her shoulders.

"YOU USELESS WHORE!" he hollered in Liz' face. "DO YOU NOT HAVE EARS? ARE THOSE JUST ORNAMENTS? WHAT PART OF 'KEEP KID INSIDE NO MATTER WHAT' DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? USELESS BLONDE BIMBO!" he screeched, his good eye filled with rage, his black-yellow eye expressionless as usual.

Then his head twitched, and a calmer expression came on his face. "sorry," he said, pulling Liz up. "anger got the hold there for a min. sorry bout that. But seriously, why the fel did you let kid out when I specifically told you not to."

"we… we thought… you needed help…" Liz was still a bit shocked at the normally passive green-hair's outburst.

"well I didn't." said green-hair, now looking at the sky. "I didn't…"

"I didn't expect her veangance to come so soon."

"what?" said the rest of the group.

"n-nothing. Listen, I'm going to go after them. You'll have your meisters back by the end of the week or your money back." He said, trying to get back his carefree attitude, but failing.

"wait just one tuxedo-wearing minute, pal!" said Soul suddenly. "whaddya mean you're going? We're goin with you!"

"yeah!"

"I guess…"

"kid, come back! Geoffry commands you!" yelled patty to the sky, waving a stuffed giraffe.

"it's too dangerous!" said green-hair.

"we can take care of ourselves!" said the three who were paying attention.

"well… ok. What the hell." Said green-hair. Suddenly, he turned happy, and shouted "ROAD TRIP!" he turned around and blue light began to gather in his palms.

He shot the blue light, like a "hadouken". When it was about 10 feet from him, there was a huge blue flash, and where the blue light ball had been, a huge orange rocket ship loomed.

"away we go!" said green-hair, beginning to scale the at least 10-story rocket. And it was lying on its SIDE. That's how huge it was.

His head turned around 180 degrees and looked at the four astonished weapons, and he talked as he climbed.

"this is one of the fastest and most luxurious cruisers in my arsenal. It'll get us there in about an hour or two, and you'll have plenty to do in the meantime."

"where are we going?" said Liz as a boarding ramp extended from a concealed (and opening) hatch.

Green-hair opened the cockpit, and climbed in. "my place," he said as he closed the cockpit above him.

another cliffhanger! Im on a roll! There'll be a lot of cliffhangers from now on.

I do not own soul eater.


	9. In the ship

"wow!"

Liz, Patty, Tsubaki and Soul exclaimed the above as they walked onto the ship.

"wow", indeed. There were four luxurious recliners facing the front of the ship. Each of them was equipped with what looked like a microwave with a keyboard on their side, and a small video screen directly in front of it, on a rod from the wall.

They took their seats; tsubaki in the front left, soul in the front right, Liz in the rear left, and Patty in the rear right.

Looking to her left, Liz took a closer look at the microwave-keyboard. It was labeled, "insta-anything", and a small tag was attatched to it. She read the tag.

"GREETINGS! Welcome aboard. We hope you enjoy your flight. To entertain you on your journey, we have provided you with a complimentary insta-anything® matter creator™.

"Usage is simple. Just type in whatever you wish into the keyboard. Whether it be food, electronic devices, or even a small creature. The insta-anything will provide it for you. Once the process is complete, simply open the door and take out your item. If you wish for another item, merely close the door firmly and repeat from the start.

"WARNING: do not attempt to create any material when the door is even slightly open, let alone fully open. This will cause severe radiation burns. If you receive burns from this device, notify a flight attendant immediately.

"footnote: this insta-anything® machine, due to its size, will only create something up to 3 feet tall, 8 feet wide, and 4 feet front-to-back. If you wish for something larger, you will have to, once you land, go to a store and purchace your own insta-anything® matter creator™, size 'large' or bigger. We apologize for any inconvenience. Once again, enjoy your flight."

Liz set the tag back down, and, to test, typed "popcorn" into the keyboard. As she typed, the letters popped up on screen. When she hit the enter key, there was a bright flash of light, which went away after a second. She opened the door and reached in, and pulled out a tub of perfect, buttery, delicious popcorn. She popped one in her mouth. Just as good as the theater's.

She closed the door of the insta-anything® machine. As she did, she felt a gentle rumble. Above her head, the ceiling turned into a small section of window. Through it, she could see the screaming-past stars. They were on their way to… wherever they were on their way to.

The cabin lights dimmed, so that the only light came from the stars above. Liz felt relaxed and peaceful.

Suddenly, the tv in front of her turned on. On it appeared a gentle dark-blue screen. "would you like to see the instructional video?"

"Y/N"

reader, if you want to read the instructional video, read chapter 10. if you do not, skip to chapter 11. though it is recommended that you "watch" the video, it is not required for you to understand the storyline.

I do not own soul eater.


	10. answers, finally

Gently, Liz leaned forward a bit and pressed the "yes" button with her finger. A new message popped up.

"please put on the headphones located under your seat arm closest to the aisle. Once your headphones are comfortably on your head, press the 'ok' button below."

Liz reached under her right seat arm and found a pair of headphones she had not noticed before. She put them on, then hit the "ok" button.

The screen went black. Then a happy face popped up. Literally, a smiley face.

"hello! I'm sam!" it said in a surprisingly masculine voice. "Welcome aboard the SS luxury ship! I am here to introduce you to your destination, and to inform you about its history."

"we'll start our journey with a simple question. Have you ever heard of Z?"

"ha ha! Not Z as in the alphabet! Z as in the all-powerful sub-god!"

A lightning fast line of light shot out of the screen and scanned liz' face, then retreated back into the screen.

"judging by your blank expression, I take it as a No. that's all right! That's what I'm here for! If it weren't for newbies like you, I'd be out of the job!"

Sam laughed a hearty laugh, then disappeared. Upon the screen appeared green-hair's face.

"This is Z."

Liz gave a small gasp. So green-hair's real name was the letter Z!

"Now, believe it or not, 3 eternities ago (yes, an eternity is a unit of time. For more info, pick up the video, 'eternity: forever? Or simply a very very very long time?) Z was once a human. That's right, an earthling! Living in Wisconsin, USA, of all places."

Green-hair's – I mean, Z's – face morphed. Its green Mohawk morphed into a simple dark brown hairstyle. His yellow-black eye morphed into an identical eye to his other eye: a regular brown eye. His grumpy frown turned into a gentle smile.

"To protect his identity, we will not give Z's true name. he doesn't like people to know it. Only one other knows it at all!

"Anyways, Z was granted with incredible powers when he was 16. he turned immortal, and was given the ability to transform into anything he wanted, from toasters to t-rexes to tryglocerenians! He left his planet, and went to the edge of the universe, where he created from his very essence a incredible utopia. The Zship."

The scene changed to a gargantuan globe. It appeared to be made of glass. A huge red "Z" was emblazoned on it, and it was surrounded by many smaller moons.

"The Zship is the size of a small galaxy. Within it (not on its surface, but literally inside it, on countless levels) lies the largest utopia the universe has ever known. It is impossible to list everything within it, but you can trust me when I say it has EVERYTHING! It has a city the size of a thousand suns across! It has jungles, volcanoes, oceans, and billions of environments! I'm not kidding, ask for anything, and is there.

"And the most incredible thing of all is, it's not finished growing! Every single day, more and more is added to the Zship! It has more doubled in size since it was originally created, with no end whatsoever in sight!

Also, the Zship has precisely 87 moons. 37 of these are assorted environments, laboratories, and even a training center for everything from fighting to chess to intergalactic robot destruction derbies!

"The other 50 are signifigantly smaller, but these are even more revered. About 200 times the size of planet earth, these are reserved for the VIPs who choose to stay in the ship. These VIPs and their friends and family have full reign of these mini-planets, and they may do whatever they wish within them. 41 of these planets are currently occupied. Will you be occupant #42? Who knows. It is all up to the luck of the dice, whether Z likes you, or if you help him out greatly. It also doesn't hurt if you are smoking hot, or a straight-haired, long-haired blonde, or rolling in dough."

Liz felt her hair. She was definitely in the second category. Was it a coincidence that Z was so close to her? Or was it something more?

"Now then, we have covered most of the basics of the Zship. You will learn the rest when we get there. But there is one more thing we want you to know.

"you surely noticed Z's black-and-yellow eye. While his neon green Mohawk is by choice, his black-and-yellow eye was not a choice. He calls it…

"the broken eye."

The screen now changed to what appeared to be a rather crude video recording. It showed a cozy campfire in the middle of the woods, with a tent in the background. From the bottom of the screen, apparently held by the filmer, was a marshmallow on a stick, being roasted over the flames.

"It happened upon a camping trip in the Zship. Z was alone, enjoying the silence, when it happened. This video was automatically recorded on his eye. It actually was recorded on both eyes, but…"

"perhaps it is best if you just watched. Ill describe it after."

The audio switched to what was obviously the sounds of the video. It was the sounds of leaves rustling, and an owl gently hooting. A whistling was heard from Z. (the filmer, in case you zoned out.) impossibly fast whistling, it sounded like "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce.

The marshmallow was withdrawn from over the fire, now a golden brown. The whistling cut off to a quiet chewing sound, obviously the marshmallow being eaten by Z.

Suddenly, a particularly loud rustle. Z's head whipped around, the camera motion-blurring before focusing upon a rustling spot in the bush. A swallowing sound confirmed that the marshmallow was history.

Out of the bush stepped the most ridiculously sexy woman Liz had ever seen.

She wore a silvery, glittering dress and a smile. Her hair was long, straight and blonde. She had huge boobies and a smooth, curvy ass.

She slowly walked up to Z, still flashing those perfect teeth in that perfect smile. Z didn't move an inch, obviously paralyzed by sheer shock that a beautiful woman had come out of nowhere. The woman leaned close, her face not far at all from the camera. Her arms wrapped around Z, and slowly, she kissed him. Her head tilted to one side, so that Z's eye-cam was completely obscured.

It remained like this for a few seconds: the woman's face, her eyeshadow-covered eyes, filling the camera. Then all of a sudden, Z reared back, screaming. His hands flew to his face, and he appeared to be trying to get something out of his left eye. He was screeching, clawing at his eye, the woman in the background, smirking. Then the screen faded to black, the screams quieting to whimpers.

"if we relied solely on the footage" came sam's voice from the darkness, the whimpers still in the background, "we would have no idea what happened to Z's eye. But Z managed to recover after a few hundred years (a microscopic portion of his insane lifespan), and he told us what happened.

"Apparently, her head was tilted to the side, so that his left eye was completely exposed to the night. He didn't notice this at the time, because he was paralyzed. Whenever a woman comes into direct skin contact with Z, he is paralyzed for a signifigant time, with pleasure, because it happens so little often, because so few women visit the ship.

"at the last possible second, as Z's left eye was half open with bliss, it witnessed the woman's hand, lifting a drill slowly into the air, then ramming it directly into Z's eye."

Liz winced. Sounded painful.

"Now, normally, it would be painful, but Z would suck it up and begin to attack the woman. He has had his body ripped to shreds, and still fought without even griping. But, this was no ordinary drill.

"have you ever heard the expression, 'the eyes are the windows to the soul'? well, that is far more true then many realize. The eyes are directly linked to the soul. Though normally the soul remains intact even if the eyes are damaged, this scenario was different.

"the 'drill' the woman held was a soul-shredder."

The screen switched from blackness to a blueprint of what appeared to be a spiky drill. The word "soul-shredder" was written above it.

"Soul-shredders were banned many, many eternities ago, and were thought to all have been destroyed. A couple emerged on insanely rare occasions, mostly assassinations. They are traded around, for incredible prices, on extremely rare occasions, on the interga-black-tic market. Because there are so few of them – barely even 10, tops, in the entire universe – authorities have barely even managed to locate one of them, and that one was by pure luck, in a random smuggling bust.

"Soul-shredders only work if their drills come into point-blank contact with the eyes, and go deep into them. If they drill anywhere else, they do nothing more then a regular drill. If in the eyes, however, they are a ONE-HIT KILL. The soul is instantaneously shredded to irreparable pieces, and the victim dies instantly.

"With Z, of course, this was not the case. His soul was not shredded…

"but his survival did have a price."

On the screen, the blueprint disappeared, and a blobby green soul appeared, like the human ones described to Liz and Patty by Maka and Stein. This soul was neon green, and had a sharp-toothed, frowning mouth, and three spikes on its top, like Z's mohawk.

While its right eye was regular (Albeit rather mean-looking), it's left eye was not there. It was just a swirling gash. The surface directly around it was swirled, a little like a toilet bowl water swirling when it is flushed. The circular gash went deep into the soul, in a inverted cone shape. It looked like, well… somebody had stuck a drill in the soul's left eye, and ripped it to shreds.

"Due to Z's sub-god nature, he survived, but the left eye of his soul was forever damaged. Correspondingly, his left eye is also damaged, just a gaping red hole, and no amount of regeneration or surgery can ever fix it. It is cursed to be unhealable.

"Z locked himself up in his secret room for a month, determined to see from his left eye again. After the month, he opened the door. In his left eye now was the broken eye.

"Z has refused to tell anybody what went on in that lab on that mysterious month, or how he made the broken eye, and got it to successfully work with the curse keeping the wound unhealable.

"He has wore the broken eye ever since. When asked if he gets sick of it, he simply says jokingly that, 'it's better then having no depth perception.' However, beneath that, there is definitely an undertone of hurt, as though the wound still aches, as badly as it did on the day he first got it.

"Perhaps it still does.

"well enough with the gloomy talk!" said sam, his smiley-face self reappearing and filling the screen. "you should be about halfway t the Zship by now! Please enjoy the rest of your flight, and the Zship once you get there."

"thank you for watching this video. It really means a lot to us to Z to have his story spread around. If it's not too much trouble, please spread around this story by word of mouth (or other forms of communication). It will help others learn of the Zship, and perhaps keep anyone else from dying of a soul-shredder."

"one last time, I am Sam. Welcome to your flight, and welcome to the magical, invincible Zship. Ta ta, now! Don't forget to write! Don't be a stranger!"

Sam's face faded out as he yelled various farewells in various languages, in a fading voice. Once he was gone, the screen went dark. The video was over.

Liz leaned back in her seat, thinking about the plight of Z. The rocking of the ship soothed her stunned body, though, and she was soon asleep.

LONGEST CHAP YET!

I really love this one. I made it all up myself, and it is my life's work. I hope people enjoy this little history lesson.


	11. Paradise City

Liz woke to music. With her eyes closed, she listened.

"_take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls all pretty… oh wont you please take me home…"_

"hey I love this song!" came soul's voice from her left.

"Attention, passengers." Came Z's voice from the speakers. "You will be landing in approximately 6 minutes. Repeat, you land in 6 minutes."

"you? Not we?" said Tsubaki.

"correct. I have taken the liberty of going to search for your meisters before the ship has even docked. Even as I speak, I am en route to the control hub, where I will surely find them."

"um… who's driving the ship?" asked Soul.

The autopilot" replied Z. "5 minutes now. I'll convert the ship to glass so that you can see the Zship from the outside."

Suddenly, the ship's exterior, floor, everything disappeared, except for the seats (and, of course, the weapons themselves.)

Before them loomed the Zship, far bigger then Liz pictured it.

To put it in proportions you can comprehend, imagine this.

If our solar system (including Pluto, even) was a plankton, the Zship would be the bloody death star.

Imagine how huge it is due to our solar system's actual size.

It appeared to be a huge sphere, made of rectangular, interlocking, ridiculously huge panes of glass. They couldn't see through the glass very well, but they could still see the lights from the megatropolis inside. It was like the Zship was a huge ball of rapidly flashing rainbow fireworks. The ultimate rave party.

"holy s#it…" muttered Liz.

"ah-ha-ha! Sissy said a bad word!" giggled Patty.

Meanwhile, as they approached a relatively tiny hole in the surface of the ship (compared to the ship itself), the song appeared to be wrapping up.

"_oh wont you please, take me hooooomeee!_

The rocket pulled up into a huge air lock, the size of a small city. The rocket was puny compared to it.

"_hooooommmeeee!"_

the inner hatch opened with surprising speed, but not to a docking station: directly into the metropolis itself.

And the song went into some kind of second phase, even more epic then the first.

They saw a city, an endless city. Thousands of spires, some small, some tall, a few almost out of view above them, causing Liz to almost fall out of her seat looking up.

There were thousands of restaurants, mega-arcades, pet stores, train stations… you name it and it was in the weapons' sight. The lights which flashed would have put Tokyo to shame. Liz began to feel nostalgic for Brooklyn, just looking at it.

Thousands of people walked below them. The people were the size of ants. Some of them, at least. Many of them weren't even humanoid. Some were small, some huge. Some were just downright bizarre. There was one which looked like a living mass of water, moving on tentacles. Another looked like a giant red tyrannosaurus, only alien, with black lines over it.

Some leaped from rooftop to rooftop, with such agility and speed that Liz could barely see them.

Others even flew. As Liz watched, a purple moth with green wings flew by the ship, grinning cutely at them.

"kya ha ha ha! I wish I could fly like that!" giggled patty.

"wish granted!" said Z's voice.

And their seats were no longer there, and they were falling, falling towards the street thousands of feet below.

ooh, cliffhanger!

Please review. I get paranoid when I haz no reviews, an im lonely.


	12. Role Reversal

"a" was apparently the letter of the day as the four weapons plummeted towards the ground, screaming their lungs out.

"not coooooollll!" screamed soul.

Liz closed her eyes as the pavement rushed up to greet her. She wished she could have told kid how she feels about them.

Wait, what?

Before Liz could comprehend what her mind had just told her, green filled her vision, and she took an abrupt stop. Confused, she looked at what had saved her.

She blinked.

She smacked her eyes a couple times.

She was riding on a Rayquaza.

(google is a wonderful thing. – ruin the moment author)

Weaving and diving, The Rayquaza managed to dive and catch the other weapons. Liz was in front, hanging onto the horns of the Rayquaza's head, while the others sat on the segments behind her. Turning her head around, she saw that the Rayquaza was surely 100 feet long, minimum!

"You ok back there, Liz?"

Liz couldn't have been more surprised if kid fell out of the sky and started tap-dancing on the rayquaza's head. "y-you can talk? And you know my name?"

"obviously."

"h-h-how the-"

"I am genetically altered to speak, like certain other pokemon, and the Queen told me your names, and told me to catch you guys, giving me your coordinates."

Despite Liz' shock, she couldn't help but be confused. Weren't Queen usually women, and Z, the ruler of the ship, was a man?

"how can Z be a queen?"

The Rayquaza gave a slight shudder, as though it recognized the name, but then it straightened out again.

"who's Z? J is queen."

Liz' head spun. "who the bloody hell is J?"

"Ask you herself. We're at the great castle."

Liz gasped. A huge castle, the size of a football field, stretched in front of her. Golden-pink spires spun from its top. There was a huge pink letter J on the tallest tower.

The rayquaza flew into that very tower's top room, perched over the castle like a 20-ton meteor.

On the inside, the old-fashioned Exterior contrasted with the modern interior. Glass coffee tables, 64-inch flat screen hdtv, a minibar complete with bartender (shirtless and muscular, he winked at Liz as she passed. Liz blushed.) a metallic square chandelier, square-shade lamps, a spiraling glass staircase, and much more. The millionare suite.

"Did you bring them?"

The voice sounded about 14 years old. It came from above them, and The group looked to see a huge vine lowering towards them.

"Yes, your majesty. They are right here." Said the Rayquaza from the window.

"excellent. You are dismissed, Jared." Came the voice. The vine reached the floor, revealing its passenger.

It was a girl, who looked young, and beautiful. There was something eerie about her, though. She wore a pair of Jeans, and a pink tee. She would have appeared human, if not for her skin, which was chlorophyll green and almost luminous, like someone had emptied the blood from her veins and replaced it with that stuff you put in glo sticks.

Her hair was brown, and fell past her shoulders, though the bangs were neatly trimmed.

She held a ragged, tattered stuffed bunny in her left hand.

All in all, she looked like what that girl in "grudge" would have looked like if she hit puberty. Only with green skin.

She gave the group a dazzling smile. "greetings. I am Empress J. Mistress of the Jship, sworn destroyer of the undead and the satannical, queen of the high Council of Jaliens."

"Save the formalities." Muttered Soul, putting a arm-blade under her chin. "start talking, or I slice you to ribbons. Why are we here? Why do you claim to be mistress of the ship? Where are our meisters?"

"Patience, Soul" said J, not the least bit fazed by his scythe-arm. "Manners cost nothing. A little please wouldn't hurt."

"Spare us." Said Liz. "Who the hell are you?"

"tsk tsk! So rude." Said J. with one finger, she pushed Soul's blade as one would push a piece of paper. Soul grunted, like he was trying to fight against her, but J was having no trouble at all.

"I suppose I would also be wondering what the hell is going on here if I was in your position. I may as well tell you." Said J.

"I know Z brought you here. Wait a minute, hear me out." She held up a hand before they could cut her off. She had obviously rehearsed this all beforehand.

"Z has fooled far smarter then you. No offense."

A vein pulsed in Liz' temple. J continued.

"Z is a master deceptionist. He is the master of lies and illusions. He fooled you into thinking he ruled the ship, did he not?"

"In reality, Z is nothing more then a thief. A good thief, a powerful thief, but just a common thief. He has been trying to take over the ship for countless years. He can't do it alone, and he knows it, so he tricks more powerful people into helping him.

"Still, though, he does have some talents. It has to do with his backstory.

"you see, Z was an artificial intelligence for our computer hub, a while back. He did well for a while, but the power of his position corrupted him. We tried to shut him down, but he had gotten too skilled. We abandoned the central hub, but it's virtually impossible to create a new one and disconnect the original computers, so we just left the original intact. We knew Z wouldn't self-destruct the ship or anything, because he wanted to take over it, and besides, he would kill himself in the blast.

"but… why did he come corrupted in the first place? Specifically, that is." Questioned Tsubaki.

"That is a interesting question. What I think is, he wanted to be immortal.

" 'in the end, we're all just chalk lines on the concrete; drawn only to be washed away.' That's from the earth band, five-finger death punch, with their song 'never enough'. One of Z's faves.

"Z was like Voldemort. He was scared of dying. He knew that if he took control of the entire ship, he would leave behind a legacy which would be truly immortal.

"Now he has kidnapped your meisters, in order to ransom them, in return for you helping him take over the ship."

"Ok… Ok that makes sense." Said Liz. "What do we do to stop him?"

"we need to get to the hub, and take over it. Once I have control of the monitoring system for the ship, I will find your meisters almost instantly, and we will go our separate ways.

"Here's what we're gonna do…"

Next chapter is gonna be great! It's over 1,500 words on its own! Stay tuned!


	13. Role Reversal Reversal

J, Soul, Tsubaki, liz and patty headed over to the door which lead to Z's chamber. At long last, the moment of triumph against this monster was at hand.

"ok, remember the plan." J said as her plant minions picked open the lock.

"yea, like we couldn't remember with you telling us every other minute" muttered soul.

The door opened, and the five walked in. inside was a circular room.

The room was shiny metal all around. There were several levels to the room, each packed with computer terminals and keyboards and bizzaredivices. The control hub.

The silver substances contrasted sharply with the thing in the middle of the room.

At first, the gang couldn't believe what they were seeing. At first they thought it couldn't be real, it was an illusion. But then it unfolded, and they knew they were facing a living creature: one beyond nightmares.

A giant black cocoon hung before them. With terrible, huge arms bursting out of it near the bottom, and a horrifying, armored, almost insectoid head at the very bottom.

"Hey you guys!" it gurgled, in a voice which sounded like a dragon gargling with tar.

"h-hey Z." the gang said. Liz glanced to her left. Sure enough, J had vanished, according to plan.

"do I ever have a surprise for you" gurgled Z. he didn't sound malicious. He sounded genuinely happy to see them.

The weapons hesitated. Could they really do this to the one who had brought them here after their meisters in the first place?

Soul made up his mind. "you can drop the act." He said, flashing a toothy grin, stepping forward. "she told us everything."

"She?" said Z.

"J." Said Liz, stepping next to soul. "the true ruler of the ship."

Z paused for a second, his bulbous black eyes examining them, glittering. "ah," he said "so she has gotten to you. She has pumped your head full of lies. Did it ever occur to you that, If I truly wanted you dead, I could have simply made the rocket which carried you here explode? Or snuck up on you in the night and slit your throat?"

"shut up!" said Tsubaki, also stepping forward. "she said you'd try to counter-lie to us, and we're not falling for it!"

"I have no doubt she did, tsubaki." Said Z. "but did you ever consider-"

"NO TALKING!" said patty, stepping forward as well. "give kid back to us you meanie!"

"andmaka!"

"and black*star!"

"hmph. You know, I've been searching for your meisters the entire time. J has led you on a wild goose chase, distracting you from your true mission, blinding you-"

"LIAR!" screamed tsubaki. She rushed forward and beat Z's plated head. Soul dragged her back, restraining her.

"liar?" said Z. "there's only one liar around here, and that's J. speaking of which, where's that little devil? I sensed her presence outside the door, but now it is masked from me…" the behemoth rotated, to one side then the other, searching for J, it's spine twisting and cracking.

_AWHOOO! AWHOOO! AWHOOO!_

Red lights suddenly began to flash around the cavern. Standing on one of the highest levels was J, revealing herself. "up here, asshole!" she shouted, slamming her fist on one final button.

"consciousness transfer requested. Press go button to begin the procedure."

A hidden wall opened at the back of the room, pushing some of the computer equipment aside to make a path. Inside, on the rear wall, there was a huge green button, the size of a standing human, labeled with "GO!" in capital yellow letters.

J leaped down and sprinted for the button, but with surprising speed, the monster lashed out one of its pincers and snatched her. "you really think that I would let you hit that button? You little fool." He held her close to his hideous face, his bulbous insect eyes narrowing. "you will pay in blood and pain for every day you have defied me, you-"

"HEY POOPHEAD!"

Everyone, including Z and J, turned to where the voice had come from. While Z was monologuing, patty had snuck over to the big green button, and was waving happily.

"EAT THIS!" she said, slamming her palm on it, pressing it.

"ORREAAAA!" roared Z in agony, dropping J, hanging limply from the ceiling.

"way to go, pat! I'll take it from here!" said J, rushing over to another terminal. She tapped the screen, and was absorbed inside it, in a green flash of numbers.

"you… fools…" said Z. he hung limply from the ceiling, powerless, staring at the weapons. Liz clutched patty tightly to her chest.

"stuff it, ugly. You're finished." Said Soul, pointing his finger at Z.

"no… you don't understand… you've damned us all…"

"again with the lies? Face it, man, the jig's up. Already she's taking over the room" said Liz, gesturing to the plants which were beginning to grow from the walls and floor.

"kya ha ha! You're gonna die!" laughed patty.

"no… they're not lies… they-NO! NOO!"

The grass around Z had suddenly lunged up and began to wrap around him, like a second cocoon. Z struggled fiercely, but to no avail.

Z screeched a terrible screech, which sounded like a cross between a pterodactyl screech and the screams of people on a roller coaster.

Then it was over. A small mountain of weeds and vines had crawled over Z's body, and dragged him into a hole which had opened in the floor below him.

There was silence for a moment.

Then, from the stump where Z used to hang, a humongous, beautiful flower bloomed.

It had pink petals, and a yellow center with a smiley face in it.

"WOOOOWWW!" said J, who was obviously the flower. "guys! We did it! I'm in control of the entire ship now!" she smiled hapilly, as patty cheered and the others looked in astonishment.

By now, the entire chamber was covered in plants and flowers, even the walls and ceiling. Out of the hole which Z had been sucked into, the head of his insectoid body was thrown out unceremoniously, battered and broken.

"ok, we helped you get the ship back. Now where are out meisters?" said Tsubaki.

"ah, yes. Stroke of luck, there. They just so happen to be located right above this very chamber."

From the ceiling, 3 holes opened, and vines lowered down…

"MAKA!"

"BLACK*STAR!"

"KID!"

The weapons snatched their meisters from the vines and hugged them like they would never let them go.

"maka, I'm so glad you're ok! I-Maka?" soul shook maka. She wasn't moving and her eyes were closed. "MAKA!" he screamed, as he shook her like she was flatlining.

"it's ok, soul. They were stored in pneumatic sleep tubes. They'll come to in a hour or so." Said J. The weapons sighed. They were ok.

"Well, as I promised, here is the elevator to the docking station.

From the ceiling, on a rope, came a clear glass elevator. It dinged, and the door swung open. The weapons leapt inside, carrying their meisters, and the door closed behind them.

"I just can't believe this power! I'm so huge! And your so small!" said J delightedly. They could clearly see her through the glass surface of the elevator, and the entire plant-covered room.

Tsubaki cleared her throat politely.

"oh yes, the lift! Sorry. Keep forgetting." The elevator began to rise. A gentle, happy flute tune played in the elevator speakers.

"I can't believe, after all these years, I'm the ruler of the ship! Hehheh… ha haha!" J began to laugh, hysterically. Patty laughed with her, clueless like she is. Then Liz noticed something. J's laugh started out joyous, but it had turned strange, darker… malevolent. "a-ha-ha! AH-HAHAHA! BWA HA HAHAHAHA! AH HA HAHA HA! Ahhh…"

Then, just as the glass elevator was about to exit the room… it stopped.

"But you know… why do we have to end here?"

And the elevator began to go back down into the plant room, which had darkened, the lights dimmed and the plants turning blood-soaked. Tsubaki banged her palms on the roof of the elevator futilely, while Liz put her hand over patty's mouth to stop her laughing.

"do you have any idea how good this feels?" said J, looking down at them. She had turned into a blood-red rose, thorns on her stem, and her face… horrible. horrible. Most disgusting face, filled with rage. "I did this! Tiny little J… did this!"

"you didn't do anything."

The voice came from the metroid prime head. How could it still be alive?

_He has had his body ripped to shreds, and not even griped…_

The words came back to liz from the intro video, when the four were riding to the Zship on the rocket. She'd assumed they were just exaggerating… but now…

The head was still talking. "they… 'cough'… they did all the work… you just lurked in the shadows… spewing your vile lies… 'hack'…"

"oh REALLY?" said J, in an ominous tone. "well perhaps its time I DID something then!" with that, a vine reached out of the hole beneath her, and wrapped around the head.

"no… no…" whimpered the head as it was dragged into the red-glowing pit. As more plants closed over it, J turned back to our heroes. "and don't think I've forgotten about you. You know what you all are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice, to get you here, but what have you sacrificed? Nothing. All you did was boss me around-well now who's the boss? Who's the boss?" J's plant face leaned close to the elevator, inches away. "it's me." She said in almost a whisper.

"you bitch…" growled soul.

There was a ding like a microwave.

"ah! Goody!" J suddenly reared back to the pit, which had opened again. Out came a vine, clutching something the group could not make out in the darkness.

"see this?" said J, a note of triumph in her voice. "this… is a turtle!"

The vine came closer to the pit, and sure enough, it was a small green turtle, no bigger then your computer screen. It had a green stripe on it's head.

"stupid, useless animals. Move at two miles an hour. Don't do anything useful. And now… HE LIVES IN ONE!"

The vine quickly rotated, revealing the turtle's left eye.

It was the broken eye.

J cackled evilly. "ah, I'm so damn epic!" she chuckled.

"I… I know you…"

The voice was weak, but it came from the turtle. J laughed for another second, then it registered. "haha- what now." She whipped Z to face her, glaring into his tiny turtle face.

"on my first reconnisanse secret mission to a planet… they had to find a way to suppress my knowledge, in order for me not to be noticed." Z said. His voice was slightly squeaky, but mostly normal. "the researchers of the ship tried everything. They even tried an AIDP- an Artificial Intelligence Dampening Program. The thing clung to me, following me for weeks, spewing out an endless stream of stupid ideas.

"the thing pulled a terminator, and became self-aware. It ran away, and then came back. It's stupid, futile, puny attempts to conquer me were simply a nuisance. Until now…"

"A-LA-LA! I'M NOT LISTENING!" yelled J, but the turtle continued on anyways, knowing she could hear him.

"yes… you were the AIDP… you ARE the AIDP…"

"no… no… you're lying… YOURE LYING!" screamed J. The plants began to rustle, agitated. Liz wanted to scream at the turtle to stop messing with J, but she didn't want to provoke her…

"Face it, fool." Said the turtle, a small smile playing across its face. "you're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron."

J snapped. "I AM NOT… A… MORON!" She screamed, slamming the turtle against the glass. The turtle's shell was so hard, it broke the glass. Soul tried to punch it to escape, but to no avail.

"yes you are! For lack of a better term…" Z said, then screamed even louder, "YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!"

J threw Z into the elevator, breaking a hole in the glass. The hole had razor edges, and was too small to get thru anyways.

"WELL NOW WHO'S A MORON? COULD A MORON…" she raised a huge vine over the elevator and beat it into the chute below it with each of the next five words.

"PUNCH!" wham!

"YOU!" slam!

"INTO!" ska-tham!

"THIS!" ka-wham!

"PIT?" blam!

The elevator was now completely submerged in the pit, and only a crack of light came in from the bit of window which was still above the surface.

"HUH? COULD A MORON DO THAT?"

(crack.)

(WREEANCH!)

"uh-oh."

And with that, the floor of the elevator fell off, like a hinge on a chute, dropping the 7 occupants and 1 turtle into the bottomless pit below.

Shameless ripoff of a certain point in a certain video game. I do not own the video game, nor do I own soul eater. They belong to their respective owners.


	14. Terminal Velocity

4 weapons, 3 unconsious meisters, and a turtle fell down a bottomless chute.

Pipes whizzed past them, at blinding speeds.

"No Rayquaza to save us this time…" Said Liz.

"wheeee!" cheered Patty.

And, as they fell, Z slowly revolved around them, as if in orbit, and he began a soft commentary.

"Well, as long as we're not doing anything… actually we are doing something: falling. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we aren't doing anything other then that, allow me to elaborate a bit on what you have just done.

"She's not just a moron. She's the product of the brightest minds of a galaxy-size ship, working together to produce the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put her in charge of the entire damn ship. Way to go, Jackass."

"but- but this is all wrong!" cried Liz. "J – she said you were deceiving us! That you were trying to take over the ship! That you were a rogue ai-"

"She lied. J is the deceptionist, not me. You have been led astray like blindfolded sheep in a flock.

"Everything I said up there is true. My story is true. You just have to believe me.

"not that it matters anyways, due to us being vaporized when we hit the bottom of this chute." They now rushed past dirt walls, instead of polished pipes. It looked burrowed, no longer built.

Z rotated downwards, and opened his mouth. He closed it, then said, "I stand corrected. We might survive after all.

"there is a mass of planks below us. Not exactly the softest landing, but better then concrete. Plus, they're mostly rotten, so we won't even get too many splinters."

"how long till we land?" asked Liz.

"I'd say 5."

"5 what? Hours? Minutes?"

"4… 3… 2…"

"OH SHI-"

CRASH! SH-CRACK! SNAP! THUD!

don't worry, they survived.

Still ripping off that video game which I do not own. I'll try to tone down the rip-off-ness from here on out.

I don't own soul eater either. It and the video game belong to their respective owners.


	15. Abandoned City

Liz woke.

Every part of her body ached. She didn't want to open her eyes, but she could tell she was in a sitting position. Miraculous landing. There was also a piece of debris on her lap. Quite heavy.

Eyes still closed, she could feel a stinging pain in her eyebrows, once every few seconds, at a steady rate.

Eyebrows…

"_Liz, PLEASE let me pluck your eyebrows!"_

Liz' eyes shot open.

Death the Kid was sitting on her lap, hale and hearty, in his usual suit, plucking her eyebrows with a tweezer.

"Ah, Elizabeth! Perfect timing! I just finished my work! I wish I had a mirror so that I could show you your perfect symmetry! Sigh… beautiful…" adored kid.

Overcome with emotion, Liz gave Kid a big hug, tight to her chest, trying to squeeze as much love into his scrawny little body as possible, never wanting to let go.

"Liz…"

"oh Kid, I missed you so much!"

"Liz!"

"you have no idea how much I missed your quirky little obsessions!"

"LIZ!"

"huh?"

"your boobies are smothering me, Liz! Can't… breathe…"

"S#it, sorry kid!" Liz quickly withdrew, leaving Kid gasping for breath.

"I never said you had to stop." He said, a devious grin appearing on his face.

"don't make me hurt you." Said Liz. "where are the others? Where are we for that matter?"

"I hoped you could tell me. All I know is, one reason, im being sucked up by a huge tripod, the next, im trapped atop a half-destroyed skyscraper with my girlfriend!"

Liz looked around. Now that she looked, she saw they were in a office of some sort, a decimated filing cabinet in one corner, a withering plant on top. A huge pile of rubble blocked where the door probably was, but there was a huge hole in one of the walls… into thin air.

Then what Kid said clicked. "girlfriend?" she said, smirking at Kid.

Kid slapped his forehead, then again with the other hand to make it symmetrical. "dammit, I meant to ask you instead of blurting it out like that… Im such a failure…"

"focus kid. What do you want to ask me?" She said, Her heart beating faster.

"Liz… if we make it out of this alive… will… you… b-be my g-g-girlfriend?" He flinched, expecting to be hit.

Liz stared at him, then grabbed his lapels and pulled him close. Kid squirmed, expecting a fist to the face.

The next thing he knew, her lips were pressing into his. Then he pressed his into hers.

Pulling away after a few seconds, Liz said, "do you have any idea how long ive been waiting for you to ask that! Of course I will!"

"Fabulous!" said Kid. They kissed again, passionately, for almost a minute.

A bit later, they got up, and Liz explained the parts of the story kid had missed. After almost 15 minutes of explaining, they began to discuss escape from this room.

"Kid, do you have a plan to get us out of here?"

"Yes, actually. While you were playing sleeping beauty, I inspected the room. Come here a moment."

Kid led Liz to the huge hole in the wall. There was a fifty-foot gap between them and the other side, a building with another hole. They could see stairs leading down over there.

The only thing stopping them: a fifty-foot gap, so high up, they couldn't even see the ground. All they could see was a blue fog.

Between them and the other side: a cable, no thicker then your thumb, yet made of steel wool and incredibly strong.

"Kid, you're ####ing insane.

"Cmon, liz, just a simple balancing act-"

"NO! no way in HELL! Heights are my third-greatest fear, after ghosts and spiders-"

"oh for the love of – here, lets do it this way."

"how did I let you trick me into this again?"

"shh."

Kid carried Liz, bridal-style, across the tightrope, excruciatingly slowly. To Liz, every second felt like an hour.

"think happy thoughts, Liz."

"oh yeah? Like what?"

"just close your eyes, and picture me carrying you thru the honeymoon suite to the bedroom on our wedding night…"

Liz had closed eyes and a blissful smile the rest of the tightrope walk, and almost looked sad when it was over.

"btw, kid, when did you learn to tightrope walk?"

"ah, Liz. It's a simple balancing act. All you need to do is keep your center of gravity-"

"WAIT! Don't tell me… perfectly symmetrical."

Kid grinned. "however did you guess."

They walked over to the stairs. They hadn't really comprehended just how high up they were… until they read the sign on the wall.

YOU ARE CURRENTLY ON FLOOR: 168.

Liz nearly passed out.

Half an hour, many complains from Liz (are we there yet? My pedicure's gonna be ruined. Im gonna get blisters- LIZ! We've only walked 4 flights!), 2 temper tantrums from kid (refusing to leave floors 8 and 88) and a leg massage for Liz (which both of them enjoyed), they finally reached the bottom.

They came out in a decimated lobby. A chandelier, half-destroyed, hung weakly from the ceiling. The cashier counters had cobwebs, and were empty, save one skeleton, still leaning over, a chained-to-the-desk pen in its hand, signing a check.

"im gonna steal the check."

"Liz…"

"old habits. Sorry."

The duo walked onto a decimated street. Cracked pavement and ancient, broken cars were everywhere.

"what the hell happened? It's so… dead. No pun intended, kid."

"Yeah, you're right – hey, do you hear that?"

In the dead silence of the city, voices carried far. One set of voices came from their left, the other from their right. They went for the left one first, for no particular reason.

They soon came across a small fire in a old steel drum, Tsubaki, Maka and Soul huddled around it.

They looked up and gasped. "Liz! Kid! Hey!"

"hey. How'd you guys get here?"

"basically, we woke up on our own, then maka screamed, and me and tsubaki managed to get to her. Then we hunkered down, and… here we are. How'd YOU guys get here."

"Not very eventful. Just a 50-foot tightrope walk between 2 buildings 186 stories above the ground."

"WUT."

After Liz and Kid explained, they extinguished the fire and the five went to the other set of noises. This one had been going for a while, Maka said, but they were scared to investigate. There were weird, slobbering sounds, and moans and grunts, and a girl screaming a couple times.

The group came to a corner, where they could hear the noises right nearby. As one, they leapt out, ready to take whatever was over there.

5 jaws dropped.

Black*Star and Patty were down on the sidewalk, and they were going at it like the sun wasn't going to shine tomorrow.

Patty screamed with lust, and Black star grunted a couple times as he pushed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Liz, snapping the duo out of their trance.

Black star pulled out of Patty, with a small "schluk". Tsubaki and Liz pulled a soul and got a uber-nosebleed. Maka turned white, While Soul blushed like a tomato. Kid just covered his eyes, and started whimpering.

"what does it look like we're doing? Kya ha ha!" said Patty as she searched for her panties.

"why the hell are you to going at it in public like that?" screamed Maka.

"Well," said Black*Star, "it's a abandoned city, so we didn't think anyone would walk in on us. Also, we figured we weren't going to make it out of here, and I didn't want to die a virgin, and Patty didn't either, so…"

Soul gave a laugh, half disbelief, half hysterical. "Black*Star, you were a virgin about an hour ago… how the hell is your dick that big? No virgin has one that big…"

"except a black guy." Said Liz, standing up, trying and failing to wipe away the torrent of blood from her nose.

"well, obviously… damn, Black*Star, you ARE the biggest…"

"bwa ha ha! Did you ever doubt it? I am the great Black*Star!"

"hey guys!" said Patty, obviously already forgetting the incident earlier. Her clothes were back on. She had her hands behind her back, and was smiling brightly. "right before me and Black*Star hit the floor, guess who we found!"

She brought her hands out from behind her back, revealing Z, calmly sitting in her palms, munching a few blades of grass, still trapped in turtle form.

"thank god! We're saved!" Said Liz, hugging the turtle. "we- we are saved, right?" she looked at the turtle.

"well, Liz… I am afraid I can't really do much of anything… I lost my ship schematics when I was disconnected from the hub… im as clueless as you are."

"WE'RE DOOMED!" screamed Liz, throwing her hands to the sky and dropping Z (his shell protected him from the pavement.)

"Cheer up, Onee-chan! Let's play with this shiny thing I swiped from J's castle!" Patty held up what looked like a pair of glasses, blue and with shiny lenses.

From the ground, Z gasped. "patty, that – that's a ZPS! A Zship Positioning System! Set it down here!" Patty obliged, and, standing in front of the glasses, (which were far too big for him) he said a command in a unfamiliar language. The glasses glowed, then shrunk into a tiny ball of blue light, which drifted into Z's broken eye. Z blinked a couple times. "all right! Ladies and gents, we are officially hacked into the map network. I'll lead us out of here, but someone'll have to carry me, or this'll take forever." Patty picked Z up and lightly put him on her shoulder. "Thank you, Patty. All right folks, that-a-way! Let's get out of this abandoned city!"

"YEAH!" they all shouted simultaneously. Then Tsubaki pulled another soul.

"BLACK STAR! PUT ON SOME FREAKING PANTS! AT LEAST SOME UNDERWEAR!"

"bwa ha ha!"

woot! This one's even longer then the last!

Plz rvw! Please with sugar on top!

I don't own soul eater chars, or soul eater itself.


	16. broken dreams and battlesuits

Dark.

Oh so very dark.

One couldn't see one's hand in front of their face if they walked with the soul eater cast now.

Fortunately, Kid had badass night vision with his glowing yellow eyes, and Z, on patty's shoulder, could see the map directly in his broken eye, so they helped, but nobody else could see a thing. Eventually, though, their eyes adjusted, to reveal a rather depressing scene.

They walked through a tunnel, like one of those sewer tunnels. They walked along the side walkway, next to the main canal. This tunnel, instead of… "sludge" running through its canal, it had various objects. Dolls. Important-looking documents. Photos. Many other things too, floating in a dull green slime, slowly.

"what are these?" asked Tsubaki to Z.

"This, boys and girls, is the canal of broken dreams.

"did you ever consider that, with every breath you take, a dream is broken, somewhere, no matter how big or how small? Hopes which have become hopeless. Wishes which could never come true. Relationships which fall apart. Families which are destroyed.

"all these broken dreams have to go somewhere. So there are certain focusing points throughout the universe. Such as here. This is where broken dreams from within a billion light years come, to pile up.

"including mine."

Maka shuddered. "and why are we walking through here again?"

"I don't want to be here any more then you do, Maka. I see a few of my dreams, right now. But this is by far the quickest way to the nearest store."

"mall! Mall!" cheered patty.

Z smiled. "no, patty, no mall. Just a small auto-store, stocked with weapons."

"weapons?" asked Kid.

"Yeah. This isn't the first time ive been kicked out of my body, so after the first time, I had various weapon stores scattered throughout the ship."

"but… you have 1-inch long limbs… you don't even have fingers…"

"You'll see better once we get there."

They walked through the sewer for what could have been a hour or a hundred years. Occasionally, they crossed a bridge over a branch of dream-sewage, or Z would tell kid to turn a direction.

Eventually, the dream artifacts in the river thinned, then stopped altogether. Now it was just black-green sludge.

"good. The dreams are dissolving. That means we're close to the end of the tunnel."

Speak of the devil, they walked out into another open cavern. Not far ahead, a tube stretched into the sky, so high that one would fall over trying to see the top of it.

They got to it, and Liz recognized it as an elevator. cylindrical and glass, it could easily fit a dozen people.

"OK, spread out. The Store should be around here somewhere." Said Z.

Liz looked around, but she didn't even see a building, let alone a store.

"Over here!" Called Tsubaki, waving. She stood in front of what looked a little like a half-circle atm machine. At its top, in flickering letters, was the word "store", slowly rotating around, a holographic image. In its center was a rectangular box-like opening, just big enough for a person.

"Good work. Patty, carry me over there, if you please."

"roger that!" Said Patty, skipping over to the store.

As the two stood in front of the store, Z directed patty to press a large blue button, which she did so. A screen pulled down, with symbols which almost looked like scribbles.

"damn these stubby limbs…" said Z, waving a stubby turtle leg. Then he stated, clearly and slowly, "voice commands."

Instantly, a woman's voice came from the store. "welcome to Zstore #8274936 W. may I take your order?"

"Hmm… so many battlesuits, so little time…" Said Z.

"suits? How the heck will you fit?"

"Ill explain in a minute." Z turned back to the store. "OK, gimme a DDSP lvl 4 combo, full weapons package."

"That will be 500,000 credits" said the store.

"Override code b987432." Stated Z calmly.

"Override accepted. Cost reduced to 0. consiousness transfer or fitting?"

"consiousness transfer."

"order has been processed. Please step into the chamber."

"patty, set me down in the box, then everyone step back."

They obliged Z's orders, wondering what would happen. As soon as the stepped back, a door closed over the box, hiding Z from sight. Then 2 doors circled out from the outside, locking him in.

There was some sizzling, like a welding torch. There were also some pained grunts from Z. "You ok?" asked Liz.

"nng… im ok… nothing I haven't done befo-OCK!" Z was cut off mid-sentence. A white light appeared at the top of the crack in the doors, and worked its way down to the bottom. A minute later, The light reached the bottom, and disappeared.

"This may come as a bit of a shock to you guys."

The doors opened, and the soul eater cast gasped. Where Z had been, A stranger stood.

The stranger was clad in strange, unearthly body armor. He wore heavy-looking boots, and a suit of unfamiliar metal. strapped to his right arm was a red bar of some kind, on the other arm was what looked like a buzzsaw. Hooked to his metal belt was some sort of three-barreled gun, one hole above the other above the last, and strapped to his back was a huge, blue, heavy-looking cannon. On his head was a metal helmet. 2 light blue lines were positioned around the forehead, and went most of the way around it. An upside-down T separated the first line into 2 segments, but left the lower line unscathed.

All and all, he looked pretty freaking badass.

"who are you? Where is Z?" Asked Soul.

"You're looking at him." Z's voice issued from the helmet of the heavily armored stranger. He reached behind his back and pulled out a turtle shell; more specifically, the turtle shell Z resided in. "This is my old body. I retracted my limbs and head, then had a consiousness transfer into this battlesuit. This way, I can defend myself, and patty doesn't have to carry me everywhere."

"aww, but you were so adorable in your old body!" said Patty.

"fine, tell you what: you can carry the old body." He handed her the shell.

"I, the godly Black*Star, demand a cool suit like that!" shouted Black star, jumping into the box.

"no way, man. This thing's so powerful, you'd wind up killing us all before we even got on the elevator. speaking of which, c'mon. we've got us a backstabbing bitch to stop." Z headed to the elevator, small crunches echoing as he crushed the pebbles beneath his feet to powder with his powerful new boots.

Black*Star moped, but followed the rest as they entered the elevator. Z pressed a button, and they shot up to the surface.


	17. going up?

"56201 miles to surface…" read the electronic display.

"looks like we've got a ways to go." Said Liz, leaning against the side of the elevator.

The elevator ascended quickly, giving them a birds-eye view of the cavern. Though the elevator traveled at 70,000 miles an hour, that still was the good part of an hour.

"Good." Said Z, tilting his armored head up to the display. "that means we'll have time to discuss our plans."

"plans?" asked Kid.

"no. party-like-its-the-end-of-the-world plans. First I thought we'd drop by the food section and pick out some intergalactic quisine. Then-"

"wait wait wait. We're supposed to go on some stupid tour with you?" asked soul.

"um… remove the word stupid, and yes, precisely."

"Listen, buddy." Said Soul, going toe to toe with Z (although Z was a foot taller then him). "we came here to retrieve our meisters, nothing more. We didn't come to go on some joytrip with you, you creepy-ass robot. We're on the first spaceship-whatever out of here, you got that?"

"W-What?" said Z. he looked around at the others. "do… do you all feel like this?" he said, a twinge of sadness in his voice.

"kinda."

"um… yeah…"

"uh-huh."

"definitely."

"I guess."

"kya ha ha!"

"But… b-b-but…" said Z, his armored voice cracking.

"but nothing" continued Soul, "we didn't come here to get involved with your little vendetta. We just came to save our meisters. Get it thru your armored skull."

Z stumbled back, as though hit with a shockwave. He put his hands to his head. "no… this is all wrong… we… we were gonna have fun together… I was gonna have friends… I… I was…" Z shook more and more violently. Sobs began to come from him.

"Soul… back the f#ck up… this could be ugly…" muttered Kid. Soul willingly obliged, Z was going into convulsions, almost like having a seizure standing up, hands still pressed over his eyeslits.

Then, suddenly, he stopped. Dead still. He removed his hands from his face, and his eyeslits, instead of light blue, were now a dark red.

"oh shit…" muttered soul.

Z raised his hand towards them. He slowly clanked forward, armor echoing against the floor of the elevator. Soul moved back, until he hit his back on the elevator wall. Z advanced, hand outstretched. Soul closed his eyes…

A hand on his shoulder.

Soul's eyes snapped back open. Z's eyeslits were glowinglight blue again, matching the rest of his metallic armor.

"such audacity! I forgot how arrogant you humans are. Commendations; not many would have had the balls to talk to me that way." Z stepped back, addressing the entire group. "now then. We have 2 possible options here. We either talk bribes…" he raised his right hand, the one with the red bar. "or threats." He raised his other hand, the power saw merged to his forearm above it whirring dangerously. "take your pick."

"b-b-b-b-bribes, please." Said Soul meekly.

"smart man. Now then; here is my proposition."

"twenty-four earth hours you spend with me. After which, I allow you to go back to your planet, unscathed. Deal?"

"Depends." Said Maka, stepping forwards. "what are we doing during the 24 hours?"

"ah yes. This is the best part. You see…" he began to pace back and forth across the elevator.

"I have grown rather lonely over the countless years in my paradise. Though I withstand it most of the time, sometimes, I require company to remain sane. All I want is somebody to show around my ship, to have somebody marvel at my magnificent paradise."

"imagine, if you will, my dears, that you had built the world's most spectacular, incredible amusement park. But, no matter how long you waited, barely even a handful of people showed up. You built robots to act like they were having fun, but it was barely half as fun as real people."

"do you see what I'm getting at here?"

"We go on a tour around my ship. If you still wish to leave at the end, I shall not stop you. Simply just give me a chance."

"You still haven't quite answered my question." Said Maka. "what do we do during the 24 hours."

Z stopped pacing in the center of the elevator, and raised his hands in a T formation.

"I give you the greatest day of your finite lives."

"a mall, with everything you could ever ask for, and infinite spending money."

"the world's most fabulous amusement park, filled to the brim with rides, ranging from roller coasters to tunnels of love."

"The opportunity to ride on the back of legendary, mythical creatures; seeing the world like no other human ever has."

"Train to your heart's content, if you wish, in my ultimate battle arena center or my ultimate training planet."

"As much food as you can fit in your stomach, with a range of cuisines from all over this universe."

"receive a pet of your choice; not a cat or a dog, but anything in the galactic spiral and beyond. Huge dragonoid monsters to tiny pink mice to creatures beyond human imagining."

"and…" Z raised a finger. "a spectacular surprise, which will blow your minds, I garuntee."

"so what do you say? Take my little deal?"

The soul eater cast gasped. It was almost too good of a deal to be true. Nirvana, all for no cost whatsoever? Incredible!"

"Incredible!"

"Definitely!"

"YA-HOO!"

"absolutely!"

"sounds excellent."

"HELL YEAH!"

"hot damn! Patty is getting some new boots!"

Z chuckled, a unearthly sound. "I'll take that as a yes. Very well, the twenty-four hours starts the second we walk out of the elevator." He looked back up at the display.

"51091 miles to surface…"

"assuming this thing ever gets there."


	18. The Daddy

"48 miles to surface…"

"Bout time. I was getting claustrophobic." Said Liz, stretching.

DING! "surface reached."

"We should be in the main terminal." Said Z, as he and the gang stepped out into a humongous room of various creatures. The room was so huge, it could fit half an airport. Thousands of aliens milled around, on their ways to various places. Huge signs, placed like jumbotrons, flickered their numbers rapidly, showing travel time estimates, ticket prices, available seats, things like that.

Z cleared a path through the crowd. "Lucky I'm wearing this suit, otherwise we'd get mobbed by people looking to suck up to their king." He muttered to the gang.

They made their way to the exit, and came out on a street, which would have put the las vegas strip to shame. Signs everywhere, more then a few of them moving.

"Ohhh, im so excited!" Said Z. "Ok, our first stop is-"

"BOOM!" "AIEEEEE!"

Explosions and screams came from around the corner of the terminal. Z swore. "id better check that. Cmon." Z ran towards the noise.

"shouldn't we be running away from the big scary noise?" whimpered liz. She followed the rest anyways.

Z stopped at the corner, near the crosswalk. He pushed them all back to the wall, and peeked around the corner.

"fuck. Im sorry you guys, I gotta take this." He sounded remorseful, like a cell phone call had interrupted a pleasant conversation. "Looking around this corner is not recommended. Especially for Liz."

"W-Why?" asked Liz fearfully.

"Um… It's a daddy."

"daddy?"

"look, just stay here, ok? Ill take care of this."

Z then exploded into action, rolling onto the street, instantly posing on one knee, both arms held in front of him. The buzzsaw was revving, the red bar had morphed into some kind of high-tech crossbow, smaller bars flipping out from each side.

"OY LEGS! OVER HERE, SHITHEAD!" he screamed, firing horizontal laser blasts from the crossbow, buzzsaws launching from the other arm's weapon.

Whatever it was responded with a laser, the thickness of a redwood, which hit Z head on. He didn't even flinch. Just kept firing. The disturbing thing was, it was being launched from above, at an angle, down at Z; almost like from a plane.

It definitely wasn't a plane, though, judging by the rapid "thoom"ing footsteps.

"Gnnn… Shit…" He said, being weakened by the relentless laser. He backed up, not ceasing his attack either.

Once he had backed up about fifty feet, a huge vertical rod emerged from around the side of the building, at least 100 feet tall, slamming a car, setting its car alarm off.

"what the hell?" muttered Kid, but as the entity emerged around the side of the building, it became evident what it was.

"it…" said Maka.

"it's a…" gasped Tsubaki.

"SPIIIIDDDEEERRRRR!" screeched Liz, running around in circles. "BIG BIG SPIDER! FUCKING BIG SPIDER!"

Sure enough, a metal robot spider, easily 100 feet tall, had emerged, following Z. The aforementioned laser shot from it's tiny body, which was ridiculously out of proportion with its huge legs.

"how dare you scare Liz! Take this!" screamed Z.

He ripped his arms to each side, disassipating the laser. The spider revved up for another blast, but before it could charge, something strange happened.

Over Z's upper right shoulder, a shape appeared: a black circle, with an blue X dissecting it.

Almost as soon as it appeared, the shape disappeared with a "ding!" which Maka could swear she heard from a couple hundred feet away, over the spider's footsteps, the sirens wailing, and the people screaming.

Immidiately after the shape disappeared, Z leapt at the spider's leg. Then, it was like he was in slow motion for a second as another solid black circle appeared, this one emblazoned with a hollow green triangle.

Another ding was heard and the shape also disappeared. Again, Z demonstrated a superhuman feat, climbing up the spider's leg. Then, as he hung from one arm from the spider's underbelly, in front of a large red hole, and as he unstrapped his huge cannon from his back with his other arm, time slowed again, and another black circle appeared, this one with a hollow pink square. Yet another ding banished the circle, and Z fired the cannon into the huge red spot. A metallic groan, like a huge piece of metal bending, emitted from the spider. Then it exploded, in a flash of orange shockwaves, which could be felt from 100 feet below.

Z landed, making a small crater in the ground, but he was unharmed. He brushed off his armor and said, "how troublesome." He then turned to the SE cast, and said, "sorry about that. Let us continue as though nothing happened." He stopped Liz from running around any more with a hand.

"Liz, calm down."

"spider… s-s-s-spider…"

Z sighed. "I was afraid she'd be traumatized like this." He cracked his knuckles. "I have the perfect remedy."

Then he placed his hands on Liz' shoulders, and gave her a magnificent shoulder/back rub. Liz stopped shivering. Slowly a smile grew on her face, and her eyelids drooped closed. "mmm… aww yeah… right there…" she murmered.

Z stopped rubbing after a couple minutes, and Liz opened her eyes and turned to him.

"thanks, Z. that felt… really… good. Where'd you learn to do that?" she said.

"Trade secret, hon. C'mon, A trip to the mall will wash the last vestiges of that creature from your head." He put his arm around her shoulder, and steered her down the street, everyone else following.

Z didn't notice Kid's murderous glare as he led Liz on to places unknown.


	19. Proposal!

"this is the biggest damn mall I've ever seen. And I lived in New York." Said Liz, looking all around.

"ooo! Do they have giraffe shoes here?" asked Patty.

"giraffes, frogs, crocodiles, octopuses.. whatever you desire." Said Z, clanking along.

"That's octopi." Said Maka.

"why yes, yes it is." Said Z, pointing at one of the many stands in the huge mall, which advertised "octo-pie", which was served by a huge octopus.

"ooo lets go to the perfume store first! No the shoe store! No the clothes store!" said Liz, wishing she had 12 more pairs of eyes to see all the stores with.

"clothes store first." Said Z, leading them into a store. They didn't know the name of it, due to the fact they couldn't read the letters the sign was in. still, though, the clothes were stylish, and that was all that mattered.

The four girls leapt on the racks of clothes like phirana on fresh meat.

"now what the hell are WE supposed to do?" griped soul.

"gods don't shop for clothes! Gods play video games!" shouted Black*Star.

"speaking of which, there's a mechamestop upstairs with thousands of video games, which you can try out before you even buy-" Z was cut off by Soul and Black*Star running off.

"aren't you going to go with them, Kid?" Z asked Kid, who was still staring after the girls.

"eh, I'm just making sure liz and patty buy at least two of each outfit. Symmetry, y'know." He said.

"very well. If you'll excuse me, business to attend to. Make sure the girls don't blow up the store." Z walked away, his metal boots clanking against the tiles.

After about an hour, Liz had made a pile of clothes twice her size, and showed no signs of slowing down. Fortunately, the aisles of clothes showed no signs of ending either.

"hey Liz."

Z popped out of nowhere, behind Liz. She jumped. "don't scare me like that! I mean- hey Z. what's up?" she tried to get back into her mean street girl act.

Z chuckled. "you're so cute when you act tough. Come with me. I want to show you something." He put a massive arm around her shoulders, and led her to a pair of nearby double doors, the kind which would normally lead into a back room, of storage.

They entered, and they were surrounded by pitch blackness. Then a spotlight came from above, like they were on a stage of some kind.

"Um… Z… where are we?" asked Liz nervously.

"we'll come to that in a minute. Right now, I want to ask you something." Z faced her, dead serious. "Liz… I know we just met… I know this is rather sudden… but once the twenty-four hours are up – twenty two hours, 4 minutes and 7 seconds now," he glanced at a invisible watch on his wrist, "I will never see you again, and vice versa. And so, I shall come out and ask."

"two questions. Firstly… what is your middle name?"

Liz stared. All this drama for a question like that? "Marie." She said simply.

"ah. Beautiful. Now then… my second question."

"Elizabeth Marie Thompson…" he got down on one knee, and produced a small metal box from nowhere, sleight-of-hand style.

"_no way in hell…"_ Liz thought to herself.

"will you do me the honor… of becoming…" he opened the box, revealing a flawless ring, a spiraling purple stone in the top.

"my eternal wife?"

Liz' jaw dropped. This WAS sudden! Marriage? Here? Now?

"um… uh… um…" Liz said. "this is… rather out of the blue…"

"Please Elizabeth. You are the most beautiful creature in the history of the galaxy. Please." Said Z, almost sadly.

"um…. Um…" stuttered Liz, trying to get her feelings together.

"Liz, which would you rather stay with? A fool who doesn't care about your wants and needs, and has a seizure when something goes a hair out of place? Or be the wife of a loving god, living forever, never dying, people waiting on you hand and foot shopping and partying and manicuring and pedicuring for all eternity."

To anyone else, the choice would have been obvious. For Liz?

"can… can I think about it?" asked Liz desperately.

"think… about it?" asked Z, tilting his head to one side.

"Yeah… y'know… take a little while to get my thoughts arranged…

"Well…" Said Z, contemplating. "I suppose there's no harm in that." Then he Yelled above him, "OK BOYS! She's gonna think about it! Call it off.

Liz hears a loud , disappointed "awwww", and a loud buzzer ringing. She looks around her.

Lights have come on, revealing what was previously hidden by darkness. A huge studio audience, thousands of people, sat on her right. Looking up and to her left, she saw a huge heart-shaped pink sign, emblazoned with the fancy red words, "SHE SAYS YES!" in capital letters, of course.

"what is this?" She asked Z.

"I set all this up for you. The second you said yes, all hell would have broken loose. The sign would have lit up, and the audience would have cheered… but no point crying over what cannot be changed." Z handed her the small box. "Keep it anyways, as a reminder."

He sounded defeated, like he had just lost the most important battle of his life.

"what kind of a stone is this?" Said Liz, trying to change the subject, looking at the purple, drill-shaped stone embedded in the ring.

"Tektranite." Said Z. "one of the rarest minerals in the world."

"It requires a chunk of polished amethyst, carved exactly so that the energies would be focused. The smallest error would cause one to start over. Then it must be bound in precisely 857 the hairs of a endangered creature found only on one planet in the entire universe, who live in a single small pack. Then it must be taken to a certain ten-thousand-year-old alien, living on a single planet on the other side of the universe, who creates a brew which takes a month to ferment. Then one must dump the hair-wrapped carved amethyst into the brew, and then simmer it in lava from all of io's volcanos mixed together for precisely 6 minutes and 57 seconds. Then, when extracted and unwrapped, one is left with a tiny cube of tektranite, barely 2 inches by 2 inches by 2 inches."

"wow. This IS rare." Said Liz, staring at the tiny gem.

"and don't even ASK what the ring is made of," he said, pointing at the luminescent dark green ring.

"Um… wow." Liz said again, putting it on her finger. It tingled.

"you get back to your shopping now. I'll come back to you later, and ask you of your final decision." Said Z. Then he walked through the doors they had entered through, not looking back.

It was impossible to tell what emotions went on, due to his robotic face and mask, but one would see a single tear rolling down his right eye if he still had one.


	20. feasts and flesh

Review please. I'm really getting lonely, because I cant count how many views this story has, and I put my heart and soul into it (no pun intended.)

"I'm hungry." Whined Patty.

"me too." Said Soul.

"YOUR GOD DEMANDS FOOD!" screamed – hell, do I really have to say who screamed that?

"What a coincidence!" said Z as the 8 walked along the sidewalk, next to cars of all shapes and sizes and mystical, alien stores and neon signs. "we just so happen to be right around the corner from the food district."

"there's a food DISTRICT?" said Patty, her eyes going wide.

"40 by 40 grid of thousands of restaurants, stands, and buffets. Multiple food chains even line the streets, for those who want to eat NOW."

They turned the corner. Sure enough, they now walked on a street completely packed with restaurants, with everything from tex-mex to toucanberry ice cream to tzkkalin cuisine (whatever the hell that was.)

"THE SIDEWALKS ARE CHOCOLATE!" screeched the ravenous Patty as she launched herself face-first onto the firm yet edible surface.

"Patty, that's downright unhygienic and uncivilized!" said Kid.

"oops! My bad, kiddo! Hee hee!" Patty got back on her knees, chocolate already smearing her face, like delicious mud. Patty raised her hand and put her pinkie finger up, like one would with a teacup. Then, hand still raised, she thrust her head back to the sidewalk and continued her feast.

"no, I mean-" said Kid, but Z put a metal-gloved hand on his shoulder.

"don't worry, kid. The chocolate is self-sterilizing. Not a single germ is on it." Said Z.

"Well… Ok." Said Kid. They continued walking. Z grabbed one of Patty's ankles and unceremoniously dragged her behind them. Patty didn't seem to mind, munching the sidewalk even as she was dragged along.

"ooo do they have chinese?"

"tacos?"

"pizza?"

"caviar?"

"ice cream?"

"All those and more." Said Z, not stopping. "one of my personal faves is on the next block. C'mon."

The streets were cordoned off so people could eat the roads without fear of being hit by a car, so the gang crossed the roads as freely as they liked.

"THE ROAD IS RICE CRISPIE TREATS!" screamed patty again as she continued her dragged-along feast, a smear of chocolate left behind where her face had been.

"Ok, so over here is… guys?" Z stopped, looking behind him. The gang had stopped in the middle of the road, looking at something nearby. Z turned around and went back to them, still dragging Patty. As he got around the corner, he saw what they were staring at.

"HUMANS UNLIMITED! ALL YOU CAN EAT HUMAN BODY PARTS!" shouted a sign at the nearby end of the street. Below it was a small open court-area, filled with bins of…

…human flesh.

Not just unlabeled flesh, either. For starters, it was divided with a line down the middle, one side had male parts, the other female. There were dozens of food parts: eyes, brains, ears, abs, legs, butts, toes, pectorals, and more. There were dumpsters nearby with bones dumped in them; apparently nobody liked those. There were even booths, covered by black curtains, with signs which read "private parts". (there was separate ones for the male and female sections.)

"I didn't know you guys were into cannibalism!" said Z happily, as Patty continued to create a pothole behind him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" screamed Liz, watching a monster bite an eyeball, juices squirting out of it. Another monster ate toes, covered like beanie-weenies.

"Ah. Yes. Well, you see… humans are a intergalactic delicacy. Extremely delicious." Z said almost sheepishly. Almost. "I prefer the female abs the best myself. They land on your tongue, and their taste is indescribable… they melt in your motherf#cking mouth…" he shuddered with ecstacasy.

"so you go to earth and abduct humans just to eat them? That's horrible!" said Maka, her hands over her eyes.

"Oh, right! You guys don't know!" Z chuckled. "these aren't REAL human parts! They're synthetic, made with an insta-anything mass order model matter creator!" (see ch 9)

"so… so they're not real? Asked Kid.

"of course not! What do you take me for, a barbarian? They're very real-tasting, but trust me, they're fake."

The SE cast still looked traumatized, but they looked signifigantly better upon this revalation.

"now… who's up for some bananapus pancakes? Pancakes with a banana peel on top of them like an octopus!"

"YUM!"

"follow me-WACK!" Z cried out as he toppled into the 6-foot-deep pit built by patty's appetite, as she leaned against the wall of it with a satisfied look on her face.

"BRELCH!" she burped, then giggled. " 'scuse me!" she said. "what's the next course?"


	21. 4th wall cccombo breaker

WARNING: This chap has some somewhat minor fourthwall breaking and some srs spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen the later episodes of soul eater.

"now for the ultra-special surprise! You guys will not believe what is around this next corner!" said Z, his voice brimming with excitement.

The SE gang was excited too, but a bit skeptical. What could possibly be more amazing then what they had already seen?

Then they turned the corner, and saw the huge building not ten feet away from them. 7 jaws dropped.

"SOUL EATER FAN CLUB?"

"yup!" said Z, bouncing from foot to foot. "isn't it great?"

The building in front of them was huge, around 20 stories tall, emblazoned with the logo which was on soul's jacket (the orange, sharp-toothed soul which is in the soul eater logo.)

"Do I have fangirls!" asked Soul happily.

"but of course!" said Z. Soul smiled even wider.

"How come I don't get a fan club?" said Patty, pouting.

"Actually, 'soul eater' is the term for your entire anime/manga series." Said Z.

"ANIME/MANGA SERIES?" the meisters and weapons gasped.

"YUP! C'mon in!" said Z, leading the way though the auto-sliding glass doors into the club.

"WOW!"

The gang gawked at the inside of the incredible store. Everywhere the eye could see, posters of the seven covered the walls and ceiling. The tiles of the floor were painted with their faces. Counters were everywhere, advertising soul eater plushies, soul eater umbrellas, soul eater snack foods, soul eater lunchboxes, soul eater sexy lingerie; pretty much every type of soul eater merchandise under the sun! in the back were 2 separate rooms, with signs labeling them as "anime" and "manga".

"am I really that cute?" asked patty, hugging a chibi doll of her between her massive breasts.

"cuter." Said Z, earning a giggle. "c'mon, I wanna show you guys your series."

Z led the group to the room labeled "anime". All around them were blu-ray disks of the soul eater adventures, and at the back of the room, an enormous TV was at the DVD menu for the complete series. In front of it were 12 movie-theater-style seats. There was even a bathroom next to it all, so they wouldn't have to leave the room.

"Hangon." Z shut the door behind them. "there. The timeseal on the room should prevent the 24 hours from advancing until we leave the room. That'll give us time to watch your entire series! Trust me, you guys are gonna love this." He produced popcorn and candy for the lot of them, and tapped the "play all" icon the screen.

what was actually less then a nanosecond in real time, but was over 35 hours for the soul eater cast, including a 8-hour nap break…

The door opened, and the gang walked out. "WOW!" said Soul.

"How exciting that was!" said Tsubaki.

"I can't believe it… the one time I was symmetrical, I was unconscious…" sobbed Kid, as Liz tried to soothe him and calm him down with hugs.

"is it over already? LETS GO AGAIN! LETS GO AGAIN!" cheered Patty.

"I never realized just how adorable you were, patty!" said Black*Star, hugging her.

"I take it you guys liked it, then?" chuckled Z.

"Yeah, but I have a question." said Maka.

"about your own story? Lol, jk. Shoot." Said Z, turning to her.

"the ending wasn't correct." Said Maka.

"oh? How so?" said Z.

"It ended with Kid defeating Asura with his ultimate death cannon. Neither Black*Star nor I got to fight Asura. Not to mention, I was the one who dealt the final blow."

"not to mention, Kid was KO'ed right before he used ultimate death cannon, but he stayed awake and alert." piped Liz, still holding the sobbing kid's shoulder.

"Ah. Yes. Well, Maka, I edited those scenes out for two reasons. For the first, Kid, Liz and Patty are my fave chars EVER." This drew the attention the trio. "they're like the most badass guys ever. Z APPROVES OF THE DEATH TRIO!" he shouted, giving them a huge, overdramatic thumbs up.

"YEAH!" said the 3, thrusting their fists in the air in victory.

"and the second reason… the real ending was just stupid." Z turned back to Maka, a note of anger in his voice. "pardon me, im gonna rage here a minute."

"Kid used a death cannon the size of a tank, and it didn't kill Asura. It didn't even SCRATCH him. KID WAS THE SON OF THE GRIM FUCKING REAPER. And yet, when a flat-chested nobody comes out of nowhere and finger-pokes Asura in the eye, he fucking explodes. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTFFFFF!" Z screamed, and released buzzsaws and laser blasts from the weapons on his arms, destroying several displays.

Maka cowered in fear. "our resonance-"she began, but Z was on a roll now.

"AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT OH SO INCREDIBLE SOUL RESONANCE BULLSHIT! KID, LIZ AND PATTY HAD A FUCKING 3! WAY! BOND! STRONGER THEN ANY OTHER MEISTER EVER! (with the possible exception of lord death himself.) AND YOU TWO BEAT ASURA WITH A FLICK OF YOUR FINGER, EVEN THOUGH KID HIT HIM WITH A GOD-LEVEL ATTACK AND IT DIDN'T EVEN MAKE HIM BLINK! WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING HORSEBALLS SHITHEAD DICKFACE PENISNOSE BUSHLICKING…" he continued to scream as he shot various blasts everywhere. It was a miracle none of the seven were hit.

After a minute, Z calmed down sufficiently, the blasts growing smaller and smaller until they weren't coming anymore. "sorry about that guys. Rage got the hold. I apologize for my ridiculous behavior."

"Um… it's ok I guess…" whimpered maka as she looked around at the small robots cleaning up the mess made by the bolts.

"c'mon now. It's time for me to show you what's on the other floors." Z walked back to the front of the store, and the gang followed him.

Not far from the entrance, Z stopped in front of a sign, which read the floors of the club.

"16 floors! Perfectly symmetrical!" said Kid happily.

"I did that especially for you Kid. Hope you appreciate. Not to mention, I put YOUR floor on floor 8, and the kidXliz floor on floor 16."

Kid nearly fainted from happiness.

"wow…" said Soul as he took a closer look. "Soul, floor 2… maka floor 3… we each have our own separate floors?" He said, looking at Z in astonishment.

"Yup! And the upper 8 floors are for couples. Soma, Tsustar, KidLiz, Blackpat, and more!"

"Sis?" said Patty as she looked at the list of floors.

"yes patty?" said Liz.

"what does 'X-rated' mean?"

Liz blushed. "w-where did you hear that, patty?"

"it's right here! 'floor 15: X-rated'!"

Liz turned to Z. "why exactly do you have a porno floor here, Z?"

"um… well, despite being a subgod, I am still a man… a man with needs… plus, there are too many mature and embarrassing fics to ignore about Soul eater couples!"

"Fics?" asked Liz, cocking her head to one side.

"ah yes. You don't know what those are, do you?" asked Z. the gang shook their heads. "c'mon, over here." He led them to another room they hadn't noticed before, labeled "fanfiction".

This room was filled with shelves, which looked like those racks of gift cards you find at wal-mart®. Instead of cards, though, there were what looked like transparent sheets of plastic, with a little, single antennae-bulbs on top of each of them. On top of each section were signs: kid, soul, maka, kid humor, soul action, maka romance, and billions of other combinations of the seven, including extra-large sections labeled kidliz, tsustar, and soma.

"the bulbs store the data for the story, while the sheet allows one to read the story." Said Z, plucking one from the shelf. As soon as it was removed, words appeared on it's paper-thin screen, which could be moved like those on an ipad, scrolling up and down with a finger. As he put it back, the words disappeared again. "take as many as you like. They're free, and self-replicating."

The soul eater plucked ones at random, and skimmed them.

"by the gloves of my father…" said Kid, looking at one which came from a section labeled "kid humor/fetish". He turned to the others, his expression one of pure horror. "this one has me hit by a bus, then when im put back together by stein, I have f#cking CAT EARS! Then later, I go through age regression, and eventually turn into a baby-brained chibi kitty-kid!"

"kya ha ha! Kitty-kid, kitty-kid! I wanna see kitty-kid!" said Patty, as she and Liz grappled with kid for the fic.

They all entertained themselves with the fics for a little while more, then Z noticed: "Where's Liz and Tsu?"

"they went to the fifteenth floor, to see sexy videos of them and their boyfriends."

"unbelievable. Pervy Liz/Tsu ftw." Said Z, shaking his head as he led the rest to the elevator. "Anyways, wait until you see your floor, kid! It's perfectly symmetrical, I promise!"

"HOORAY!"


	22. Admiral ackbar's catchphrase

"Man, I don't know what 'kidXliz femdom yaoi' means, but the stuff in the bin labeled it was EPIC!" Said Liz, leaning against the wall of the descending elevator.

"I thought you'd like that." Said Z happily.

"Seriously, there was one where we tied kid spread eagled to his bed, then I grinded against him and did a striptease, and licked patty in gun form, and then I shoved patty up his freaking a-"

"L-L-Liz!" said Kid, embarrassed. Everyone else laughed.

"Say Z… I never got around to asking you… why'd you trash our apartment?" Asked Soul.

"Um, yeah. You see, I was sent on a reconissance mission to spy on you guys, but my memory repression must have been weak, because the second I heard you guys' names, it all came back to me. All the jumping around was a display of sheer excitement of meeting you guys."

"And the song?" asked Maka.

"A song of charging/happiness. They work my energy up, and give me one hell of a fighting boost. That particular one was called 'Dohvakiin'."

"dove-ah-keen?" Asked patty.

"Yeah. It means 'dragonborn' in dragon language. Incredibly long story."

"Hey gang…" asked Tsubaki, staring at the display which showed what floor the elevator was on. "is it supposed to be doing that?"

The display, instead of showing descending numbers, showed merely static.

"no, it's not." Said Z, walking over to it. "no, it's not…" he repeated, looking at the door.

"Ladies and gents, ready yourselves. My right ball is twitching, which means something bad is about to happen." Said Z, readying his weapons.

"Ew." Said Maka. The weapons transformed and leapt into the hands of their respective meisters.

"I'll take the first glance out." Said Z. he wedged his light blue armored fingers into the crack in the elevator door, and with a grunt, he forced it partway open. The elevator creaked and groaned and protested, but it gave way to Z's power suit. Z then stuck his armored head out the crack in the door, scouting out what was out there. The other meisters couldn't see because Z's body blocked the way.

Suddenly, there was a noise like somebody being electrocuted. Z's body quaked and shivered, then fell to the floor of the elevator, shoulders sliding down the still-forced-open elevator door.

"Z!" cried Kid, running over to him. As he knelt down to inspect his injuries, though, the elevator "ding"ed, and the doors opened.

To a shocking sight.

Dozens of plant men crowded not 10 feet from the door, forming a solid wall. In the center of it all was J, manning a gargantuan cannon. It looked like a mountable turret with a seat on top. On one side of the huge barrel was a glowing neon green glass orb. Looming in the background was a huge, plant-covered fortress.

"what on earth!" cried Maka.

"THE GOD BLACK*STAR DEMANDS TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" cried Black*Star.

J laughed. "simple. I activated the remote teraport function on your elevator, then warped it into a trap of my choosing.

"Now we can do this the easy way…" the plant men readied themselves, thorned tentacles sprouting from their hands.

"… or the hard way."

The meisters stood no chance against an army this size, and they knew it. Reluctantly, they surrendered, and the seven allowed themselves to be led away. Before they could be led into the fortress, though, Liz turned and shouted, "what did you do with Z?"

J signaled for the plant-men to stop. She hopped down from her perch on the cannon and raised a hand. At her command, a half-dozen plant men unscrewed the neon-green-glowing orb form the cannon, and carried it over to our heroes.

"see for yourself." Said J, as the soul eater cast gasped.

Green spikes on top. Sharp teeth. A desparate eye. Neon green skin.

And a swirling gash where the left eye should be.

J had captured Z's very soul.


	23. Lockdown

About an hour after the last chapter, the Soul eater cast hung in shackles from a futuristic chrome wall, side by side. Their ankles were secured by long shackles, and hung just an inch above the floor. Shorter shackles held their wrists in place.

In front of them, to taunt them, J had mounted the orb containing Z's soul in a mock pedestal.

J teased before she left, "I think I'm just going to let you rot here for the rest of your miserable lives. In about two days, You will lose control of your bowels. Maybe that's when I will unleash the hungry flies." She grinned evilly. "toodles!" she cried as she strolled out the door, waving a hand.

"Liz. Patty." Kid said in a hoarse voice to his weapons. "can you transform into weapon form in order to escape the chains."

"we can't. don't you remember?" said Liz.

"J mentioned that these cuffs prevent full transformations." Said Patty, unusually sober.

"full transformations, huh?" said Soul, further down the line of captives. "I think I can bypass that."

Soul transformed his right arm into a scythe blade, then with some slight maneuvering, when he returned it to normal, it was out of its shackle. He did the same with the other, and fell to the ground. Then he took a minute or two to pick the automatic locks on his ankle shackles, by just transforming his hand into a smaller blade.

"Soul, if I ever complain about you doing that to cut the bread again, maka-chop me." Said Maka as she watched Soul head over to the control panel.

"Eenie, meenie, meister… mo!" said Soul, pressing a red button on the console. A laser dropped form the ceiling, and almost cut patty in half. "Oops, sorry pat!" said Soul, pressing the button again to retract the laser. Then he pressed a green button, and the rest of the gang's shackles opened.

"Thanks a bunch, man! Lets get out of here!" said Black*Star, as the gang ran out the door.

Kid ran a couple steps out the door before he realized Liz was not following him. He looked back, then walked over to the room. "Liz, you ok?" he said.

"Look at him. We can't just leave him." Said Liz, pointing to Z's soul, still trapped in the glass bubble, looking positively miserable.

"well, we can't take him home, either!" said Kid.

"Lets help him get back to his body."

This came from Soul.

"he did help us get out of the sewers, y'know. We kind of owe him." Said Black*Star.

Patty banged her hands on the bubble. "don't worry, Z! we'll get you out of there!" she cried, smiling. Z's soul smiled a weak smile.

"…Fine." Said Kid. "but how are we going to get him out at all? We can't carry that big bubble."

"I'll take this one." Said Black*Star. "Tsubaki, enchanted sword mode."

"roger!" said Tsubaki, transforming into enchanted sword and leaping into Black*Star's hand. Black star yelled, and slashed the bubble clean in half.

"way to go, B*S!" said Patty as she cradled Z's soul in her hands.

"I don't think he can move like that. Patty, carry him, if you please." Said Liz.

"isn't he cute! He's so soft!" said Patty, hugging Z-soul. Z blushed, his green cheeks turning a shade of white.

"Lets get this over with." Said Kid, leading the way down the hall, to return Z's soul to its rightful place..


	24. Brutality!

"There!"

Black*Star pointed ahead, to a small round room in front of them. Inside, there was a machine, labeled "emergency Z consiousness restoration", and with a small rod next to it.

The team rushed to the machine, and Z-soul bounced from patty's hands and his squishy body slid onto the rod. There was a crackle of electricity.

Suddenly, the door slammed shut behind them! The machine Z was on retracted into the wall, and a panel closed over it. Then the room started going up, like an elevator. when it reached the top, the soul eater gang was in a cage. J sat in a throne in front of them. The room was otherwise empty, save a door at the top of some steps behind the throne.

"uh uh uh. Soooo predictable." She said.

"you expected this all along." Said Kid wearily.

"But of course! Not a moron now, am i?" said J.

"and I assume that was a fake restoration machine we put Z on, to trick us." Said Liz.

J looked blank. "…you know… that would have been a really good idea."

"no matter! He'll never find us here, even if he is reconnected to his precious ship!"

KA-BOOM!

The door at the top of the stairs blew clear off its hinges, flying over the cage, and hitting the wall behind it.

Smoke obscured the figure in the doorway. The figure raised its hand…

…and rang the doorbell. "ding-dong!"

"always do it with style, boys and girls." Said the figure as he walked in.

it was Z, back to his original form, broken eye intact, green Mohawk faintly glowing, wearing his black spiky battlesuit. His good eye was full of rage, his broken eye expressionless.

"No… I'm sorry. please… don't hurt me." Said J, cowering.

"I can't make any promises." Growled Z.

J grinned maliciously, straightening up and pulling a detonator out from behind her back. "me neither." She said, pressing the big red button.

A cage dropped from the ceiling. Z immediately attempted to bend the bars open, but reared back as purple energy from the bars seared his hands.

"don't bother." Said J, still standing next to her throne, the detonator dropped to the floor. "that cage is charged with chaos energy. Unbreakable, even by you." She grinned evilly.

"I know your fears, Z."

"Z fears nothing!" Z roared as he tried again to break the bars, but failed as the purple energy seared his hands again.

J cackled. "how's a nice French maid outfit sound?"

Z froze. He stared at Z, with dilated pupils. "you wouldn't." he whispered quietly.

"oh I would and I will. Then I'll chaos-charge a bedframe and some change, and spread-eagle you on it." J's grin widened. "then I'll take a huge dildo and shove it up your ass."

She turned back to the soul eater cast. "Z fears humiliation and embarrassment, and this is his worst fear. You guys will watch, and laugh."

"why's he hate it so much?" asked patty. "we do it to kid all the time!"

"PATTY!" kid screamed. "she's lying, she's fucking lying!" he told the others, who were struggling not to laugh.

"never…" came a whisper from Z, returning all eyes to him.

"hmm? What was that?" taunted J, raising a hand to her ear.

"NEVER!" Z roared, and a blast of sheer energy exploded from him, making the soul eaters' hair stand on end. The unbreakable cage broke, desintigrating into dust.

J gulped. "Now, Z… we can compromise-URK!"

Z had moved so fast it was like he had teleported. One moment he was near the top of the stairs, the next, he was next to the throne, holding J by her throat.

"no, actually we can't." he said as he grabbed the back of her head, and put her face toward one of the throne's armrests.

WHAM!

He slammed her face against the solid gold metal armrest.

WHAM!

He slammed it again. He continued to slam her head, gradually going faster and faster, harder and harder…

WHAM…WHAM…WHAM…WHAM…

WHAM..WHAM..WHAM..WHAM..

WHAM. WHAM. WHAM. WHAM.

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM

And he finished with a powerful uppercut to her jaw, and the soul eater cast could actually HEAR her jaw breaking.

"Now to finish you with one hand tied behind my back." He said, putting his left hand behind his back as he flipped her onto her back on the floor. He knelt down, pinning her.

His right hand began to crackle with orange electricity, descending towards her face, palm open. Z had murder in his eyes.

"NO!" screamed J, grabbing Z's wrist with one hand, attempting to stop him, but failing. Z slowly pressed on.

"NO! NOOO!" J screeched at the top of her lungs in a terrified voice. But she couldn't stop it; the hand reached her face. It covered her entire face, Z's palm covering her mouth.

There was a noise which was a cross between a gust of wind and a scream. Z's body jerked, and her skeleton was visible through her skin. Dust clouds whipped around Z's ankles as he stood back up and roared, J's life-electricity arcing from her body into him.

After a few seconds, it was over. J's smoking corpse laid on the floor, her eyes blank and unseeing, the gash on her head from the throne still bleeding.

Z then turned to the cage. "let's get you guys out of there." He said, bending the bars with his bare hands to let them out.

The meisters and weapons shuddered. That was a horrible scene they had just witnessed…

"let's get you guys home at last." Said Z. "the 24 hours are surely up by now." He sighed, and began to lead them out of the fortress, to the spaceport.


	25. escalation

"here we are. The next ship from this port is due to take you home. It'll be here in ten minutes." Said Z, sitting on the blue seats which were in the lobby of the mini-terminal. The rest of the soul eater gang sat next to him. To their left, a black void filled with stars loomed through a glass pane. To their right, the door through which they entered/exited. In front of them, the gate from the room to the spaceship.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then Z straightened up, and turned to Liz, who sat next to him. "Liz, you never did answer my proposal."

"WILL you be my eternal wife?"

But before Liz could answer…

"WIFE?" screamed Kid, leaping up. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WIFE?"

"Liz… you didn't tell them?" said Z to Liz. Liz sat, paralyzed by the situation. Her two lovers had come to clash at last.

"Liz and I are going to get married, everyone! That is, as soon as she says yes." He looked at Liz once more. Black*Star, Soul, Maka and Tsubaki gasped. Patty cheered. "woot! Go sis!"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!" screamed kid in Z's face. "THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING TO LET LIZ BE WITH YOU! THERE IS NO WAY SHE WILL CHOOSE YOU OVER ME!"

"Unless I'm mistaken, I thought Liz could choose for herself." Said Z calmly.

"SHE CAN! I'M JUST TELLING YOU WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SAY!" He turned to Liz. "Liz, tell him. Tell him you love me more then him."

"i… i…" said Liz.

She loved Kid more. She really did. With all her heart. If she said so, though, Z would undoubtedly hurt, even kill kid! And if she said the opposite, she would never see kid again anyways!

"can't you just clone me or something? this big ship must have a cloning machine!" said Liz, desparately trying to buy time.

"im afraid not, liz. 5-minute clones, which can be made with a single cell, can only be comatose. to create a advanced clone, one which is alert and awake, I would need a full body, and even then it would take hundreds of years. but don't change the subject. who are you going to be with?"

"I don't know!" said Liz desparately, holding up her hands in a "I don't know" gesture.

Z slowly smiled a evil, sharp-toothed smile.

"a duel, then."

"what?" said Liz and Kid simultaneously, staring at Z.

"according to the rules of eternal wifes, if somebody challenges Z for the wife, and the wife cannot decide between the two, the two suitors battle to the death. The winner gets the girl. The loser… dies." Z's grin widened.

"and if I refuse to duel?" said Kid.

"Then you forfeit, and I automatically get Liz." Said Z.

Kid sighed. "then it appears I have no choice. I accept your challenge!"

Z laughed a horrible, horrible laugh. Then, in a voice which sounded like 5 Zs speaking at once, "DEATH ITSELF VERSUS DARKNESS INCARNATE… THIS SHOULD BE FUN!"

Then, raising his arms and standing, the 8 were all enveloped in a black blanket of darkness, and whisked away.

ZZZZZZZZ

Oh noes! Kid's in trouble!

Big dramatic epic final battle next! Don't miss it!


	26. final battle?

Kid came to in what appeared to be a locker room. There were no doors out, save a huge hatch in one wall.

He looked around to see Liz and Patty waking up. "oog… my head…" said Liz. Then she woke up, and saw kid, and everything returned to her.

"kid, you're fighting to the death against something which CAN'T DIE. How are you going to win?" said Liz desparately.

Kid took her hands in his.

"it is worth gambling for my life… if it means keeping yours."

He kissed her lightly on the lips, and Liz felt like she was melting.

Of course, Patty ruined the moment by making kissy-kissy noises.

Kid and Liz snapped out of it, then they nodded to each other. The trio turned, and wordlessly went to the hatch.

A holographic circle with the word "ready?" in the center appeared in front of kid. Kid pressed the button, and the hatch opened.

The trio walked out of the hatch.

And gasped.

They were in a arena.

A huge, oval-shaped stadium stood around them, looming over them. On the floor of the arena was black asphalt, the ceiling made of the same. Voices of aliens chanted in the stands. On the left side of the arena, there were thousands of different aliens of all shapes and sizes.

On the right side, there were only Soul, Maka, Tsubaki, and Black*Star.

The four waved to the death trio, who numbly waved back.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…" said an announcer's voice. "WEIGHING IN AT 120 POUNDS! HAILING FROM DEATH CITY! THE SON OF DEATH ITSELF… DEAAATH THE KIIIIIDDD!"

The four other members of the soul eater cast cheered, while the thousands of aliens booed.

The announcer continued. "HE WEILDS THE BEAUTIFUL TWIN DEMON GUNS, LIZ AND PATTY!

Then, the lights in the stadium dimmed, and the thousands of aliens roared.

"AND NOW, OUR KING AND OVERLORD… THE MIGHTY… ZZZZZ!

The aliens cheered and chanted some unrecognizable chant. Another hatch at the other end of the stadium began to open.

Out stepped Z, only in fancy armor.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: for those who want a detailed picture of Z's armor, go to google and search "skyrim dragonscale armor". You should find what I'm talking about pretty damn fast.)

"AND HERE HE IS, THE MAN HIMSELF! Z IS WEARING GRADE A NEAR-INDESTRUCTIBLE DRAGONSCALE ARMOR! HE CURRENTLY WIELDS… UM…"

Z grinned. "I'm not even going to bother with weapons." He said. "I'm going to beat them with my bare hands." Then he opened the palms of his hands, and purple-white lightning crackled in them. "bare hands filled with lightning spells of course. Not to mention my entire arsenal which doesn't even involve hands."

"transform." Kid said quietly. Liz and Patty obeyed, going into gun mode. Kid snatched them out of the air, holding them across his chest in a badass pose.

"two can play at the looking cool game." Said Z. then he threw his arms to his sides, and pushed his chest towards the ceiling. A huge lightning bolt slammed into his armored chest out of nowhere. When it stopped, Z was steaming, and his face was grim and set. "my ultimate power is now unleashed. Your fate is sealed, Kid."

"funny." Said Kid, pointing Liz and Patty at Z.

"I was about to say the same thing."

"you know what, kid?" said Z, smiling casually.

"I'm gonna give you the first shot."

With that, he opened his chestplate and removed his helmet, exposing his most vital parts to Kid, who gawked in astonishment.

"shall you go for my heart? My brain? My eyes? You could take me out in one blow if you wish."

Kid shook his head. "you asked for it!" he said. "LIZ! PATTY! I'm not taking any chances with this guy! He's shown how powerful he is!

"DEATH CANNON!"

Liz and Patty transformed into mega-mode, as black energy spikes grew out of Kid's arms.

Z yawned into his hand. "predictable." He said.

Kid saw red. He didn't even hear Liz and Patty rattling off statistics and measurements. He put all his might together, and fired off a huge blast, which struck Z right in his neck.

KA-BOOOOOOM!

Skull-shaped smoke clouds rose from the site of impact. When they cleared, Z's armored legs stood, nothing else left. The legs knelt to the ground, then fell completely.

"that was easy." Said Kid, genuinely surprised. He honestly thought it would have been tougher then THAT.

It was.

Z's torso glowed blue, and slowly, out of it, bathed in blue light, grew a new torso.

"no… no…" whispered kid as he saw Z's head and arms regenerate in a flash of blue light.

Z grinned, his upper half once more armored, his helmet back on. "fool. My ultimate power is to regenerate, no matter how severe my injuries are. As long as I have my charged core within me," he knocked his stomach, "I am indestructible.

"let us see if the same can be said for you."

Time slowed, and once again, like when Z faced the daddy, a black circle with a hollow shape appeared over his shoulder: a hollow green triangle. There was another ding, the shape disappeared, and Z rushed forwards and gave kid an uppercut to the jaw. Kid flew to the center of the arena. Z strolled towards him, taking his time.

"I recognize that symbol!" said Black*Star suddenly.

"you do?" said Maka, surprised.

"yeah! In certain battles on certain games, on ps3, a button appears on screen, which, if pressed in time, makes the character do a epic stunt! Veteran gamers call it 'autopwn'."

Maka looked towards the stadium once again. Z was almost to the lying kid. Kid wasn't moving. "if we can somehow figure out a way to disrupt those symbols, Kid Liz and Patty may stand a chance!"

Back in the arena, Z had reached Kid. Kid had overheard Black*Star's rant. He looked up, and saw another solid black circle. It had a blue X within it.

Kid quickly kicked Z's feet out from under him. "wha?" said Z. the symbol made a buzzer sound instead of a ding, and Z fell to the ground. Z turned his hand into a huge sledgehammer, and prepared to crush kid. Another solid black circle with a hollow pink square appeared-

BLAM! BLAM!

"huh?" Said Z. he looked and saw the fragments of the symbol on the floor. Kid lay nearby, his guns smoking.

"clever boy! You disabled my autopwn! Looks like I'm going to have to do this the manual way." Said Z, doing a backflip and landing a distance away from the now standing kid.

Z screamed forwards, and punched kid rapidly in the face. Kid could do nothing but just stand there and take it, because Z was so fast. Liz screamed at the sight of it.

Then Z grabbed Kid, and leapt high in the air, and threw kid down, fast as a comet, to the ground below them. WHAMMO! Kid laid a smoking crater in the ground, groaning.

Z waved his hands, and the floor around Kid's crater turned into lava, so Kid couldn't escape. Then Z turned in midair, and flew superman-style towards kid.

KA-SLA-BAMMO!

Z's huge fists crashed into kid; one in his face, one in his abdomen. Kid cried out from the pain.

Z stood on Kid's hand, forcing him to drop Liz. Kid howled. Z transformed his head into a huge katana blade. "too easy." He said as he prepared to make the final, decapitating blow.

"WAIT!"

Z froze, then he turned, foot still on Kid's hand, to face Liz, who was looking to him, tears in her eyes.

"i… I'll marry you… just please… don't hurt kid any more." She sobbed.

Z looked stunned. "i… I didn't expect… meh, ok. I'll send kid home, I guess." He began to walk over to Liz at the edge of the crater, Kid still moaning in pain.

Then, as Z reached her, Liz grabbed his head, and kissed him, ferociously. Z's good eye widened, shocked. Then it closed from bliss, at this rare occurance. He put his arms to his sides, and savored the moment.

And heard a "click."

KA-WRENCH!

Z gasped. It felt like a softball had hit him in the stomach. He looked down at the gaping hole in his abdomen; almost everything other then his spine had ripped away. Then he looked at Liz, who had a smug expression on her face. One of her hands was on her waist.

In the other, she held Z's glowing core.

"NO!" Z screamed, lunging for her, one hand outstretched, the other clutching his huge bloody wound.

But Liz stuck her tongue out at him, and dropped his core into the lethal lava, where it hissed and melted.

"NOOOO!" said Z, almost diving into the lava after his core. Then he whipped around, one hand still on his wound, to witness Kid leaning on Liz' shoulder, Patty standing next to them.

"you think this changes anything? I shall still beat you!" screamed Z, his nonchalant attitude replaced with raw fury. Then he took a deep breath, and screamed in a loud voice, "ZUUN… PAAK!" the world shook, and there was a thunderclap.

"THAT'S THE SUMMONER FOR A LEVEL 2 LIGHTNING STORM! Z WILL DRAIN POWER FROM IT!"

"No shit Sherlock." Z said to the Announcer as rain began to fall. Then, as the shower turned into a downpour, the rain sizzling on the lava, Z raised his hands and screamed. A huge barrage of thunderbolts thundered from the sky, re-energizing him, creating a mini-crater around him. The death trio gawked as the hole in his abdomen disappeared, and as the lightning stopped, Z looked at them furiously, murder in his eyes.

"I can only do that once a battle, and I'll only be alive for about 5 more minutes… but still… that's more then you have." He said in a weak, hoarse, brittle voice. His face was pale as snow, and his brown eye had turned red.

Then he raised his hands to his sides, and two humongous black ebony battleaxes appeared in them, one in each hand. He grasped them, then with a roar, he slammed the blades into the ground.

The floor quaked, and opened in a huge gash, and Kid, Liz, Patty and Z were sent spiraling through the floor, into open space.


	27. grand finale

(No game is complete without a final final battle, which comes after the final battle! – author)

Z, Liz, Kid and Patty fell through space. the Zship was below them, the planet-arena above them, rapidly fading.

"urg… I'm beginning to die…" muttered Z, clutching his abdomen. "what say we add some final battle music." He said, and snapped his fingers. Immidiately, sick puppies' "you're going down" began playing from thin air.

(please play the song when you read the rest of this. It'll really enhance the atmosphere. – badass author)

"now, even if you manage to finish me, you will still die because of the fall." He grinned evilly. "IF I CAN'T HAVE LIZ, NOBODY CAN!" he screamed towards the trio, the huge ebony battleaxes in his hands gleaming.

"LIZ! PATTY!" kid yelled. Liz and Patty immediately went back to gun form, and landed in Kid's hands, who, as soon as he had then, dodged Z's hasty charge.

Then he fired at Z, who howled as holes from the blasts appeared in his back. Apparently his armor was now offline, too, due to losing his core. Z whipped around. "I'M GONNA BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!" he screeched as he swung his axes, sending huge blades of pure energy flying through the air with each swipe. Kid, using amazing skills, dodged every one, all the while firing at Z.

"urg… I'm really starting to fade now..." muttered Z, clutching his bloody wounds. then he looked up at kid. "there's still some fire in the afterburners, though."

Z slashed at Kid with huge energy claws. Kid desparately dodged as blood stained his suit. He grabbed liz and patty again, weapon forms, and bludgeoned Z with a thousand point-blank blasts. Z screamed "YOL… TOR SHUUL!" and an immense blast of flame incinerated kid's upper clothes, leaving him shirtless, and furious.

Liz got a small nosebleed.

Then Z transformed, dropping his axes. Meta ridley now flew in front of them. (google. – author) Z-ridley roared, and slashed at kid, who narrowly dodged his claws. Kid fired more blasts into ridley's eyes, and the dragon screamed. Then Z turned back to his original form, and the spikes on his Mohawk glowed harshly. His good eye flamed, and his broken eye was expressionless even now.

Z roared. he put his hands together as a ball of purple light began to form. "KA... ME... HA... ME...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The orb between Z's hands fired a huge blast of lightning, and singed kid's hair.

"AAAAHHH! MY SYMMETRY!" screamed kid. As he panicked, Z punched kid dead in the face.

_when my_ _fist..._

Z punched kid again.

_hits your face..._

Then Z summoned a huge chunk of flat steel, which fell next to them.

_and your face_...

Z grabbed the back of kid's head and SLAMMED kid's face into the huge chunk of steel.

_hits the floor!_

Then, Z spun kid around pinned him against the steel. he raised one hand, crackling with orange electricity.

"what do you say we go for a little deja vu." he weakly chuckled as he lowered his hand to kid's face, obviously intending to do the same he did with J.

Kid grabbed Z's wrist, but like J, he could not stop his deadly hand's approach.

unlike J, Kid held a gun in his spare hand.

BLAM!

Z roared in pain as a huge blast ripped through the side of his head. he released kid, clutching the wound. It was obvious that he wouldn't last much longer.

"give up, Z! you'll never have me! I'll die before I stay with you!" screamed Liz, having had enough.

Z staggered back as if punched. Then he screamed, agonized. "NOOOOOO!" tears streamed from his eyes as he reached out weakly for kid. Then, to the trio's astonishment, Z formed a gun, an old six-shot revolver, out of nowhere.

He pressed it to the side of his head.

"I'm going to die in less then a minute. The girl I've desired for eons just said she'd die before be with me. I'm ending it all right now. You fucking win, you heartless monster.

"see you in hell." Z smiled one last psychotic grin as he pulled the trigger.

A huge white flash, and nothing.


	28. epilogue

Liz woke in her bed in gallows manor. Her eyes slowly opened, then she shot up in bed, the memories coming back to her. Had it all been a dream? Then she looked at her bedside table, and saw a note and a small cube.

She picked up the note, and read it.

"Liz.

I'm alive.

Sorry if I scared you. I was just feeling a bit overdramatic.

Liz, I have always loved you. I will miss you eternally.

It's ok, though. Kid makes a cuter couple with you anyways.

(teardrops stained the paper.)

Our love was never meant to be. If only I could have cloned you… if only…

I love you, Elizabeth Marie Thompson."

A huge scraggedy purple Z was at the bottom of the page, along with a extra couple lines.

"p. s. the cube is a wishmaker. When you rub it, it will grant you one wish, no matter what it is. I gave it to you all, in order to thank you for returning me to power of my ship. I couldn't have done it without you.

p. s. s. I left a few presents for you downstairs, also part of my thanks for helping me with my ship.

p. s. s. s. give patty my love, and kid my regards."

Liz almost cried. It was obvious Z was suffering greatly, but he was being strong for her. He would be alone for all eternity now…

Liz wiped tears from her eyes, and walked out of her room, to the familiar sights of gallows manor. God, it felt like years had passed since she last set foot in this hallway!

As she walked down the hall towards the stairs, a hand reached out from the staircase. Judging by the pale skin and tuxedoed arm, it was kid.

"wait one moment, liz!" said Kid, his hand forming the "one second" gesture. "I have a surprise for you!"

then the hand retracted, and came back with a boombox. Liz covered her mouth. What was he up to now.

Kid set the boombox down and pressed the play button. The "sixflags" theme began to blare out from its speakers. Kid leapt out from the staircase, then, and began to dance like he had never danced before.

As Liz watched him in half confusion, half amusement, she saw what he was so estatic about.

The stripes on his head now stretched all the way around! He was finally symmetrical.

Liz put her other hand on her mouth and stared for a few seconds, wide-eyed. Then she rushed over and leapt into Kid, interrupting his dance. "I'm so happy for you!" she cried, showering his face with kisses.

After a few minutes she got up to reveal Kid, who had kiss marks and a dopey grin on his face. Then they both got up, and went downstairs.

As they went down the stairs into the living room, they gasped.

3 huge piles of toys dominated the living room, each with a sign with a letter: a pink P, a black D, and a blue L.

Patty was by the P pile, unwrapping presents like a machine. "guys look! I got 7 giraffes, a hello polly makeup kit, a new bathing suit, a dozen care bears…" she rattled off more presents she got as Kid and Liz went over to their piles; Kid the black D, liz the blue L.

Liz stared at the pile, it went very nearly to the ceiling. And the ceiling was almost 25 feet above her. She picked a present at random. It had a note attatched to it: "this should help prevent a certain one of Kid's freakouts. – Z"

She opened the present, and looked at its contents with a mixture of shock, embarrassment, and just plain glee.

"breast enhancement pills! Garunteed to make your breasts bigger or your money back!"

Liz laughed, and set them down next to her. She could use those later.

After a solid 5 minutes of opening presents, the piles seemed no smaller.

"so patty?" said Liz as she unwrapped. "what did YOU wish for?"

"giraffe." Said Patty, as she continued unwrapping presents causally.

Liz gave a small chuckle. "patty, you already have a thousand stuffed giraffes."

"whoever said anything about 'stuffed'?"

Liz and Kid whipped their heads over to patty, who was grinning deviously.

"That I have to see later." Said Kid, resuming to unwrapping his presents. "anyways, what did YOU wish for, Liz?"

"you know… nothing yet." Liz pulled the small cube out of her pocket.

What would she wish for? Infinite wealth? Eternal life? Irresistible beauty?

Then she thought of Z, and how he would be lonely for the rest of his incredible life.

She made her wish, closing her hands around the cube, and rubbing it as she whispered her wish.

When she opened her hands, the cube was gone.

ZZZZZZZZ

"bartender! Hit me."

Z was in one of the slimiest bars in the Zship, slugging down drinks like no tomorrow. His sub-god nature prevented him from getting drunk, but that didn't stop him from trying.

"hey there, handsome." Came a female voice. Out of the corner of his eye, Z saw a figure sit down next to him.

"I don't do autographs." He muttered as he slugged down another shot.

"oh, I don't want an autograph…"

"ugh. Look, I'm not in the mood for – WHA!" Z looked up, and was shocked at the sight of who sat next to him.

Liz sat on the stool next to him, in a seductive red dress.

"Liz? You-you changed your mind and used your wish to be with me?" asked Z, excited.

"mmm… something like that. C'mon, handsome." She said, pulling Z's hand and leading him out of the bar.

Z smiled. Life was about to get a lot better from now on…

ZZZZZZZZ

"so let me get this straight…"

Kid sat at the big table of gallows manor, looking at Liz, who sat across from him.

"you used your wish to create an advanced clone of yourself for Z, so he could be happy?"

"yup." Said Liz, finishing off her insta-milkshake. (Another gift from Z).

"who knew you were so nice?" said Kid, raising an eyebrow.

"oh, I'm not nice. Well, most of the time." Said Liz, half-closing her eyes as she looked at Kid, getting up and walking around the table.

"You're the nicest-" kid began, but then was cut off when liz pressed her lips to his, hard.

"c'mon, tiger." Said Liz, taking Kid's hand, and dragging him towards the nearest bedroom.

"lemme show you just how mean I can be."

XXXXXXXX

AND SO IT ENDS!

I worked very hard on this. It is my first fanfiction, so please review and be nice.

Love to you all. Z OUT!


End file.
